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Oh, Manolo


This video brought back memories. Back in the aughts I used to go to The Eagle in Pittsburgh a lot. Back then, my friend Mikey and I used to jump on the Friday wagon and go dance to celebrate the end of the week. I was totally overwhelmed by college and Mikey worked a job in which I was convinced he was low key exploited. They certainly did not pay him enough money. He was overqualified for the job and I was constantly pushing for him to quit it.

At The Eagle, we were tight with the DJ. He used to play ALL of our songs the second we stepped in at around nine PM and would send us away at around midnight with a Madonna medley. During those days, I had to leave before midnight because I was supposed to take the lat Flyer going up to where I lived. I did not have a car (I never needed a car living in Pittsburgh) and I did not want Mikey going out of his way to give me a ride when I could take the bus. One of the (many!) experiences we had there had to do with a gogo boy. You see, they would bring gogo boys to pump up the Friday patrons (every day had their patrons, I'm sure) and this one night they brought a very handsome blond guy who was gyrating on his platform to a mix. I think it was Amber's 'Sexual' or something like that.

So the guy finishes his number and he climbs down the platform. He's literally wearing a jockstrap and nothing else. His body looks fantastic, to tell you the truth. He's covered in a thin layer of sweat and he goes to the DJ booth to get a towel and cool down. When he gets there, he starts drying up and decides to let his hair down. You see, while he was dancing his hair was apparently in a sort of bun or ponytai you could not really see. Once he was done, he let it down. He flipped his head forward and all this blond hair falls past his shoulders. It was beautiful. Or at least I thought so.

Apparently, the letting the hair down ruined it for some of the patrons who were to the left of us. I happened to look their way and they were literally mocking the gogo boy for letting his hair down. Apparently that was too 'feminine' for these very macho cocksuckers. In a fucking gay bar. I was kinda pissed. I started going their way and Mikey grabbed my arm and dragged me to the first floor. What was I thinking, he said. Those three men were all over six feet tall and the slimmest one had at least sixty pounds on me. I did not care. All I wanted to do was to go up to them and tell them they should be ashamed of themselves for belittling a man who did not fulfill their idea of what being 'a man' was. I was incensed. 

But we did leave and I never told them anything. Maybe it was for the best. That gogo boy did get nice tips (not everybody shared those three men's contempt) and he was back there several more Fridays. We even got to know his name: Kyle. He was super sweet and had a banging body (duh). He was a nursing student and he told us all about his last semester. Just like that, we had a new acquaintance to say hi on Fridays. I never saw the three men again. Or at least I never looked for them. They were obviously small minded and nasty. 

But that's nothing new in the gay community, so why would we be surprised if we find that the garden variety person is as homophobic as some leather dude in a gay bar?  One of the problems I find with the men (and women) who think there's only one and only one way to be 'a man' is that their view of the world has fucked up one and a thousand lives. Their contempt for anything not 'masculine enough' drives their tiny lives and constrains their view of the world. 

People like Manolo's dad and people like those three gay men at The Eagle make me mad. Manolo’s dad was probably brought up to think a man who kills bulls for fun is more of a man who somebody who is a dancer. And those faggots at The Eagle felt threatened by a man who was the representation of something they loathed about themselves, I guess. Poor misguided, sad, fearful, pathetic little men.Their skewed view of what is 'masculine' and what a 'man' has to do really is beyond myopic. Missing the forest for the trees indeed.

XOXO


Comments

  1. All I can offer is things are moving fast and there are many new normals for most of us. I have never seen issues with such things. Variety is the spice of life. If an open mind and acceptance isn't met, many will find themselves lonely. It is intresting though to see the macho views and there ways. I remember once going to the DC Eagle for a jock night. I went in sort of dressed more camp, with finds from a thrift shop. I got some nasty cracks made about being queeny...but ignored it. Once in there, it was either jock strap or leather. I went jock strap. Once some of those names callers saw my slightly hairy arms and legs and my assets, they were "all of a sudden" interested. Fuck em! You can't have your cakes and eat them too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can totally believe that.
      I don't think that people are against variety, they're just lazy and are convinced that their view of the world is the RIGHT one. Also, they don't like it when their fantasies are uncovered as that: made up ideals. I can totally see them doing a 180 once they saw that you were a handsome man underneath those clothes. Their loss. No cakes for them!

      XOXO

      Delete
  2. Isn’t that the conservative mindset? Everything must fit in a nice little box or we must kill it! Those that cannot adapt are (hopefully) doomed. I subscribe to the “live and let live” credo, as long as what you’re doing doesn’t cause harm to someone else. And having your fee fees hurt is not harm.

    The amount of talent on that stage is amazing. You have to remember, in Ancient Greece all of the parts in a play were played by males. There’s nothing wrong with dancing flamenco is a dress. Did you notice how much the movement of the dress was like the movement of the bullfighter’s cape? Two roles, same effect.

    XOXO 👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely.
      For some gay men it's their way or the highway, though. They're entrenched in their internalized homophobia and cannot get out of their minds. There are some people I don't like . So I don't fuck them. It's as simple as that.
      And you are SO right about the dress and the cape! Bae, you're so poetic! I never made that connection.

      XOXO

      Delete
  3. Why can't people just take others for the way they are and stop labeling them, or putting their own biases on them. Life would be so much simpler.
    Personally, a hot blond lettings his hair down would be a lovely sight.
    SIDESTORY; years back I had friends visiting me in San Francisco and we went out one night. As it got later, someone suggested we go to The Stud and a friend of mine, Robbie, who is straight, was a wee bit nervous, asking if it was a gay bar. I assured him it was not [it was] but that it was just the name of the club. As we entered the little foyer through one set of doors, there was another set of wooden doors in front. Luckily, Robbie went first, because as we walked in, there, at the end of the bar, was a hot guy in tighty whities dancing on the bar, and he turned and thrust his crotch in Robbie's direction. Robbie kinda freaked out and said he'd never been to a gay bar and what should he do if a guy asked him to dance.
    My response was, "If you wanna dance, dance. If you don't say, no thanks."
    By the end of the night, Robbie had danced with all his friends and when a guy asked him to dance he did.
    Mind opened.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Short answer: because it makes them uncomfortable. People don't want to see in others what they abhor in themselves.
      And that man at The Eagle was very handsome! He had fantastic hair! Those idiots.

      And Robbie's story is sweet. You see, it's kind of sad that straight men are sometimes more open minded that other gay men....

      XOXO

      Delete
  4. instead of bullfights, how better it would be for men and animals to do dance shows!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Interesting. Lots of ''whys,' remember, not everybody can turn the beliefs handed down through countless generations on and off like a light bulb. We all know people who's minds will never be opened regarding certain things. Sadly, this is how life is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called progress.
      People want to keep the status quo because it benefits them. Gay men wallow in internalized homophobia because they're hateful little people. They do not have to fuck the men they don't 'like', yet they never miss an opportunity to deprecate them. They hate in others what they hate in themselves. It's simple. Sad, indeed.

      XOXO

      Delete
  6. Any ideology which says there is only "ONE TRUE WAY' to think, believe or be is dangerous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely.
      It amazes me to no end that gay men would do that to other gay men. Straight homophobic people? It's ignorance and bigotry. Queer people have no excuse. Well, there's self-hatred but we all know that.

      XOXO

      Delete
  7. Masculinity is a toxic concept whose time is up. Thanks for sharing your story. Going out! How fun.

    ReplyDelete

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