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On Making Friends.


I discovered I had some kind of power over men when I was around thirteen or fourteen. Yeah, not a late bloomer. The thing is, there were dudes around me all the time when I was that age. ALL the time. And the thing is that they were basically all about one to three years older than I was at that time and you know that two or three years at that age is a LOT. You go from young boy to young man in literally six months. And I could not help but notice that these guys who were two years ago literally boys were suddenly men. And I really liked all the attention they gave me. I was flattered and excited and nervous and breathless and dizzy with the knowledge that there was something there I wanted to explore and they were going to help me do that. But to tell you the truth, I was mostly horny. I did not want to do 'boyfriend' stuff. I was DTF, and they just seemed to know it and were more than ready to lend me a hand. Or more precisely, a very hard dick. Because teenage boys.

Oh, I took advantage of that and I promise you there were some times when I had to almost have to choose who I was gonna do by the time I was sixteen. You can say that I was going through a very, very slutty phase. The term 'popular' could be loosely applied here. If I wanted, I could get pressed like the news almost any day. It was a mood, for real. They seemed to be everywhere: at school, in my neighborhood, when I went out... At times, there was not one day where I didn't get an invite to go see someone's 'comic books'. Or go 'play games' in their room. Or find out they had concocted whatever excuse they could fabricate to be be left home alone and invite me over. I think I fucked any restlessness or desire for non-strings-attached 'straight' dick out of me during those years. Sowing your oats, is what it's called, no? Well, I did that. I guess I won't have a crushing midlife crisis, then.

The thing is that when I watched Sam Smith's video for I'm Not Here To Make Friends, it was like someone had made a video about my feelings at that time: the unadulterated pleasure of feeling yourself, the fantastic sensation of realizing you have sex appeal and that others can see that. And by 'others' I mean men. It was hot. It was fun, and I could see how powerful and attractive Sam was feeling. I guess it was about time. People have desexualized them for way too long. Which is funny, because when you categorize someone as a 'crooner' you expect them to sing about love and sex. But such is the life of the queer/gay singer-songwriter: the music industry is afraid you'd be 'too sexual' and would scare sales away and make you try to please everybody while erasing you in the process. Well, Unholy was quite risqué. And it went straight to number one, so...

It was a very liberating video in the sense that it's all out there for anybody to see. At one time in the clip, Sam is standing in the middle of the room with a bedazzled sailor hat, gloves, a corset and barely anything else. Talk about liberating. Sam has talked about their body issues before and I applaud what he did. I can also relate. As an aging almost-twink, change has not been easy and not having the 'right type' of body for the apps (3% body fat, abs visible from the moon, dizzyingly obvious shoulder-waist ratio, big tits, bubble butt, the works!) can feel slightly unsettling. This video reminded me that no matter how I think I may look and no matter what the gays in the hookup apps say, sex appeal comes from inside. I am attractive, and fuck other people's idea of what I should look (and behave) like. Yes, ma'am. 

When Sam leaves the party riding the hood of that car (I want that LOVER license plate!) looking absolutely fantastic, I felt like it could be me. Oh yes. Gimme the slutty Little Lord Fauntleroy attire, give me the car, give me the attitude and give me that man with the whistle and the feather to ride and I'll be ok.

XOXO

P.S. Sam is indeed having a fantastic start of 2023. Gloria, their last album is out and it's fab: with new stuff and his awesome ballads. And they're going on tour!. Also, after this video we all learned that they may be a fem top (a blouse?) and that a yellow hankie may be necessary to woo them. You go, Sam!




Didn't I tell you Sam was really feeling themselves?? Dancehall is so hawt...

Want, everything I want
Is everything you got
So nut before you come over
Relax, walk before you run
Your eyes on my dun, dun-dun-dun
I need you to come... closer...

But don't fear. There's still plenty of crooning in Gloria to make your day if that's your thing...

 

Comments

  1. so cute and nice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love them.
      Especially with that black attire.

      XOXO

      Delete
    2. Remember that 90% of the people who criticize him are envious of him

      Delete
  2. The coat is nice, but it's a dance song and dance songs are so ephemeral.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love that coat!
      And we are still dancing to dance songs that came out in 1976, because the young guns are repurposing the beats so....

      XOXO

      Delete
  3. I'm not usually a big fan of Sam Smith's songs -- too mopey and self-hating for me -- but I love this one! And the video! So fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Sam's found new inspo and I'm here for it.
      The video is a riot. It's caused outrage among the conservatives and the idiots, so you know it's good.

      XOXO

      Delete
  4. Anonymous1/30/2023

    HuntleyBiGuy:
    It’s a great, fun video. Much has been made on Twitter about the scene in the corset. But fuck ‘em. Sam’s having fun and that’s what counts. I’ve never had a body type that is anywhere near the gay ideal. Struggled with weight most of my life. And now that I’m near a weight that my doctor says is fine for me, I’m good with that, there will be no sculpting on my end. As Popeye says, “I yam what I yam.”

    XOXO 👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, twatter was ON FIRE!
      And yes, fuck them. Idiots. Were a straight, muscle bound idiot doing this, people would be celebrating.
      And I am not the gay ideal either babes. You know that.
      And I don't give a fuck.

      XOXO

      Delete
  5. I kinda fall alongside Debra; I like this more upbeat Sam. Plus, I want that coat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG yes, that COAT!
      It's all kinds of camp and sublime.

      XOXO

      Delete
  6. Anonymous1/30/2023

    Big says,
    Heard the new song last week on my drive to the doctor. It's a fun song and no doubt it'll scream into the #1 spot. As far as body type / image...you know my thoughts on that particular issue. Walk with confidence. XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay!
      I have yet to hear it on the radio and I know I'll pump that baby up when I hear it. I surely hope it goes to number 1 and it becomes the song of the summer.
      And yes, walk with confidence!

      XOXO

      Delete
  7. Your story... fascinating. I want to take up residence in your head and take copious notes. Had I your moxy when I was wee thing... sigh. Well... I'd be dead, for starters. As for Sam! They've certainly grow comfortable in their skin and is not afraid to share it. The song is the kind of lift off I adore... it makes me want to soar. And strut. Thanks for making Monday a lark. Kizzes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha
      Oh, I do have stories but I'm sure they are not as fun as yours. And I was silly and a nightmare when I was young. Such a brat. And I am loving this 'new and improved' Sam. It was about time!
      And I love this song.

      XOXO

      Delete
  8. " I was going through a very, very slutty phase. The term 'popular' could be loosely applied here. If I wanted, I could get pressed like the news almost any day."

    Unfortunately, huh...hmmmmm, some of us are still stuck in that phase!!! Now I love that Sam Smith video and I may need that pink ensemble in the beginning. But I still am not a Sam Smith fan I don't know what it is. I can get into the message of the song. When it comes to men some days I'm not here to make friends. Sometimes I just want a good wham bam thank you ma'am, then hit the bricks. I mean what does this look like the old night Denny's. Do I have to get him breakfast in the morning?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAOO
      And more power to you! There's not statute of limitations for enjoying ourselves.
      I love what they did with this song. The whole wardrobe is to die for. I need that headdress and that black number with feathers.
      And a good whambamthankyouman once in awhile is all we need.

      XOXO

      Delete
  9. I love the second video. Do you remember everyone you've had sex with? Hmm????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same!
      Love me some dancehall! And I do not remember all the men I've shagged. I would have needed a spreadsheet to keep count. Yep. Slutty.

      XOXO

      Delete
  10. Wonder if the coat comes in blue? Actually would prefer the caped outfit on the chandelier though. Now, you a proving to be an inspiration to me. I have often said I was going to write my story and I am inspired by your first paragraph above. I managed to seduce my first man when I was 14 and proceeded to hustle my way through the next 11 years until I decided I had burned too many bridges and it was time to slow down. More of this story will come in time in other places. For now, glad you are back.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well you have one more time inspired me to start telling my story. Don't know if I should thank you or not. But I am glad your are back.

    ReplyDelete

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