June 9, 2012

So then....

I know. It's been forever. But I've been dedicating most of my time to tumblr and man is he a demanding lover. The thing about tumblr is that instead of reading my -sometimes turbulent- prose, you just get a visualization of my stream of consciousness. But some things do need to be put in black and white. Like the fact that I let a man I'm interested in read this blog and my tumblr. Yep. No stonewalling. No shy, lame attempts to pretend he has to know what I'm thinking. Most of the time, he knows for sure. And I have to say the feeling is liberating. It's like taking off soaking wet clothes. Sometimes with him I feel more naked than nude. He knows my body, but this goes beyond that, beyond the nakedness of the skin. When he looks at me, I feel he sees me. The me who needs him, the me who fears things, the me who's insecure, the me who's silly. All those parts of me that make me whole. And it feels good. Disclosing who you are is more liberating than telling someone you don't like apples or cooking or listening to Black Sabbath. Disclosing who you are has nothing to do with what you do but with what you want and need. And I have come to realize that I want and need him. And he has told me he wants and needs me. So I guess we're a good match. Complications be damned. I'll live in the today. Tomorrow can wait.


Merlín Púrpura said...

Upsss... seis meses esperando un nuevo post y nos sorprendes con esta declaración!

Qué bonito! Que sea infinito!

Abrazos mágicos y púrpuras, desde el otro lado del Atlántico (la otra p.m).

HuntleyBiGuy said...

I have it on good authority that what you've said is absolutely true. I know that when we are apart I realize how much I want you and I know I absolutely need you. When you've taken your trips back east it's difficult knowing that you are not as near as you usually are. But having the ability to text makes it a little more bearable. I always look forward to your safe return. I guess what they say is true...absence does make the heart grow fonder. And when we are together, it really is magical. You are an amazing guy, sugar. And I'm really fortunate that we've crossed paths. And I'm glad we can spend time together, and explore things together. We do have our complications, but like you've said, we entered into this with eyes wide open. And despite that we are together and taking it one day at a time.


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