Go back in time

Show more


“It’s gotten better but I can’t make a blanket statement that it doesn’t happen anymore,” he said. “There are always going to be shades of homophobia — sometimes internalized homophobia that I’ve encountered from other gay people in the industry. They might feel that [I am] ‘too gay.’”


Oh, Adam. I feel you. Actually, Lurkie was the one who kind of inspired this post when he wrote:

"Why do you make such a fuss? Being gay is not a personality. Do you really have to dress like that? Do you have to act like that? I know you are desperate to draw attention to yourself, but it is embarrassing to us respectable gays.”


There is always this push form some gay men to get other gay men to try and 'tame' the gayness. What the fuck is that all about? Gay men come (hehe) in all sizes, ages, colors and levels of flame. Not all men are Adam Lambert. And not all gay men are Gus Kenworthy. And some are in the middle. There's no GayMeter (c) to measure how gay somebody can -or should- be.

The Gaystapo -I'm looking at you, homocons- have decided that gay men should all wear khakis and button-down blue shirts and penny loafers and have Best Cuts haircuts ordered using voices without a trace of a lisp or intonation. Do they know what Camp is? Do they know that sometimes the 'gay' voice will come out? That no matter how closeted, one day there'll be a 'my boyfriend' in the middle of a conversation? That making sure you're never 'gay' only makes you.. gayer? I know some very straight men who camp it up to high heavens and they've never sucked dick. Or felt the need to do it.

For years, there's been a push from some gay men to appear 'normal', to not be 'too much', to stop the 'she' when talking about another gay men. Their idea of comfort is conforming to some idea they have of the gay man that's accepted by society at large. And they don't take into account that just as not every straight person is Brad Pitt or George Clooney, not every gay man is Frank Ocean. There's some Sam Smiths thrown in for good measure, along with some Elton Johns.

So when Adam says that some people considered him 'too gay' I absolutely believe him. I know, I know, "I'm not gay, I'm a man who happens to be gay", blah, blah, blah. Well, I've got news for you: Yes, you are a man who just happens to be gay, but your taste for dick is what makes you gay and there's nothing wrong with that. That does not define you, but that's what sets you apart.

Being gay is not our defining trait, but it IS a trait we don't share with the rest of the heterosexual world (bisexual and pansexual men are on our corner, by the way). We have been stigmatized, hospitalized and castrated in the name of 'normalcy' and if that does not define you, then I don't know what would.

So there. I'll leave you now with Adam Lambert, who is just as gay as he wants to be in these videos. And that does not make him any less hot.




  1. I have always enjoyed people, gay and straight, who marched to their own drummer, BUT,I sometimes can tell when people are doing for the attention and that drives me nuts.
    Be whoever you want to be act however you want to act, but be honest with yourself.

  2. There is so much to comment on here. Some people just have a sense of style. Adam Lambert is one of those people. I use to work with a guy who could wear grubby jeans and an old tee shirt and look like a GQ model. Had I worn that I would have looked like a homeless street person. I guess it is something that you are born with and your self body awareness is on point. I do wish Adam could find a blockbuster song. They always seem to miss the mark, very much like my sense of style in clothing.

    The mom was great.

  3. Great post! Anyone who is hung up on this "too gay" nonsense needs to work through their own internalized homophobia.

    I love Adam Lambert! I have all his albums and am thrilled he's got a new one coming out soon!

  4. I always liked his singing. If I remember correctly there was a group trying to make him lose American Idol because he is gay. I certainly used to be in the "tone it down camp" until I finally figured out it was because of my internal homophobia and had nothing to do with the other person. I would have preferred gay men to be like mayor Pete than Rupaul but now I just want gay men to be happy.

  5. “Too gay?” Is there such a thing? If so then there must also be a “not gay enough.” A person has to be true to themselves. For some it’s off the charts and that makes up for those of us who have no sense of style at all (I’m looking in the mirror here). You’re right there are those that want to be the gay police and regulate your flamboyance. But fuck them. Let the rainbow fly out of every pore of your body if that’s what feels good for you. Adam has it right. Be who you want/need to be.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

  6. Not a big fan of his, don't know what it is, but something about him grates...


Post a Comment

Go ahead, give it to me.



Popular Posts

En otra lengua

  • UN VERANO TENEBROSO - ¿Que pasó? ¿Se me esfumó el buen rollismo de la última entrada? ¿Estoy "acojonao" por los rebrotes víricos, deprimido por mi paupérrimo estado sentimental...
    1 day ago
  • La evolución de las canas - Siempre he tenido amigos que me llevan un buen trecho en edad y otros vicios. Tener amigos que nos aventajan en unas décadas proporciona anticuerpos co...
    1 day ago
  • ¡No me gusta...! - No me gusta esta pandemia, llena de miedos, de ansiedad, de desinformación, de *fakes, *de falsos profetas de las soluciones y de los oscuros augurios. ...
    4 days ago
  • Aquí no venden la leche en bolsa - No asistí a una universidad pública. Mirando atrás, no sé qué me previno tanto de hacerlo. Más allá del paradigma pequeñoburgués que una educación pueb...
    4 weeks ago
  • - En los días que se han convertido en años, en tiempo que transcurre y sin entenderme a mi mismo en mis angustias, en mis silencios, en mis ruidos que no c...
    6 months ago

Restricted to Adults

Restricted to Adults
Under 18? Beat it. Now.