nothing but a number?
I think the idea of dating someone many years younger than we are is kind of daunting. I know I'd date a man ten years older than me, but ten years younger? Have not thought about it, really. When I was in the apps I know I used to set my filter to men my age or older. That's usually been my MO even when I used to go to bars more. I usually tend to not consider men who I consider are too young as possible partners/lovers. Yeah, they're eye candy but they usually bore me to death. There's so much X-Box and Fortnite and Animal Crossing and IG and tiktok I can talk about. Really.
But the question is, am I selling myself (quite literally) short by not broadening my horizons? And I'm not talking nineteen (that apparently was the average age for men who went to Viet-Nam, btw), but let's say, 'young' men. Men in their thirties or maybe even late twenties? I wonder what that would be like. I have not dated anybody that age in what seems like forever. It would increase the dating pool, that's for sure. But at what price? I think that when dating we should all be GGG (good in bed, game for most everything and giving as well as receiving affection) just like we are when we get in a sexual relationship with someone and some men are able to do at any age that to an extent. The thing is, if we want to get with them, then we need to pay The Price of Admission: there may be some things that have to do with Prince Charming that we will have to either overlook or pretend they're not there in order to keep the relationship (or the night) going. Mine I guess is age. Younger men tend to be boring, IMHO. Young, hung and full of cum, but boring. I need it to be more THERE there.
Sometimes when we meet a man, he seems to be perfect but there's just that one detail that derails him from being 'the one' (or the 'right there'). And that little detail could be that he does not like kissing and you love it. Or that he won't give you a blowjob and you crave them. Or that he'll demand a blowjob and you don't like giving them. I think that one of mine is probably age. Would I be willing to date at twenty year old? At the end of the day (or the beginning of the night) what I think we need to ask ourselves is: am I willing to pay the price of admission? If the answer is yes, then we will have to do without that blowjob and enjoy everything else that man can give us. Or just get over the fact that he's younger than us and maybe interested in other things. Or we can just move on, and find someone who likes kissing as much as we do or is closer to the age we like in men. I think it's quite simple. Don't you? Oh shit. That just made it complex by default.
XOXO
I have never really been interested in men much younger or older than me.
ReplyDeleteYounger? I've already done that. I don't need to live through it again
Older? Don't rush me, I'll get there.
Carlos is a year younger than I am and that works good, because we've both been there and done that, as far as youth goes, and are going through this ::::gulp:::: getting older thing together.
That said, the heart wants what the heart wants, so, to each his own.
I 've mostly dated men a little older than me. Not too many younger, mind you. I think the shared experiences do count as a plus when dating someone, though. And I take the dating the young gun had it pitfalls, then?
DeleteXOXO
Well, my wife is 13 years younger than me. What made the difference? She's apparently an "old soul" - she never did think or act like the other people her own age. Been married for 34 years (come September). At first I didn't believe her age when she told me...I just **knew** she was older than that. But, there were (are) still things to overlook and compromise on in any relationship.
ReplyDeleteGo for it. Try it out. The thing is you have to keep it platonic until you've seen into their soul. xoxo
Hell, my parents had a 28 year difference! He was getting out of the army when she was born!!!!!!!!!
Deleteholy shitsnax maddie!
DeleteBut you see, that's the thing. Her thinking was closer to yours (or yours to hers) and that's what kind of makes it click. There needs to be a connection. Sometimes it does not work. It could be physical differences, of course, when the age difference reaches a peak (Maddie's dad would have been 70 and his wife 42) but I think that when you connect with someone, when you are both in the same wavelength is when the magic happens. And yep, platonic until it clicks.
DeleteXOXO
My husband (of 32+ years) is eleven years younger the me. Had I known his age , I would not have been receptive to his pursuit. He came off more mature than his age.
ReplyDeleteSo, I say give it a go!
Again, I think it's the person's attitude and their being mature what gets us interested. I find the entitled and petulant attitude of some younger gay men absolutely annoying. I just can't. But yeah, I'm sure there's an exception to that rule.
DeleteXOXO
FIRST OFF, your going to distract me with Tom Holland?!?!?! Ohhhhhh my god , I think he is so adorable and playful. I agree with Mae West, I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get. I like sex and need men!!!!!! I personally don't mind younger. It has it's advantages...endurance, stamina and flexibility!!! But I like older too...they like to and tend to do more and will talk after. So I have one of each, the Lad is 32, and Warbucks is 63. so we have a 17 year difference. I get very different things from both of them. But they both have in common is smarts. I looovvvve an intelligent man. They know everything, and suspect nothing darling.
ReplyDeleteholy shitsnax again maddie!
DeleteOh, yes. Younger men who are good in bed are GOOD. Young, hung and full of cum are always a plus. I think 32 would be a good age. And I could see you being slightly different with each one of them. Kinda like the best of both worlds situation. And you nailed it: they're smart. They keep yo engaged mentally and physically, if I know anything about you! LOL
DeleteXOXO
Straight men have no problem with younger dates so why should we. My past boyfriends were a year or two older than me, my current one is almost three years younger so not a big difference. I say don't limit yourself, it depends on what you are looking for and the personality of the man. I always said I wouldn't date a younger man but if you're 50 and he is 41 not a lot of difference. Younger people come with a more positive outlook I find and it's nice to be around them. I think it only gets weird if you're 45 and only want to date under 25. That is more of an obsession I think then or fetish maybe. The youngest guy I was with recently was twenty years younger, if he couldn't see age and we related fine, then why should I see age. Plus older men are the "in thing" now in gay culture, why not take advantage of that. What's the difference in dating a twenty five year old for a few months and it doesn't work out to dating a forty five year old and it doesn't work out.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Yep, straight men have done it for centuries. But you are right, I think that the key is to not stretch that age difference way too much. 50/40 is not a big deal. I think the level of maturity would be quite similar and the interests and likes also quite aligned. And there's the worldview. It's always good to have another perspective in the relationship (not just one that is too narrow, either way) but if it works, it works, right?
DeleteXOXO
my spouse (of 28 years) is 5 years younger than I am. no big deal. if I were dating right now, I don't know how I'd feel and what "age" would be appropriate.
ReplyDeleteYou see, 5 years is not such a big deal, I think. Five to ten is not too much. I imagine what I consider 'appropriate' has to do more with connecting intellectually with them than the actual physical age. I find most twenty year olds exhaustingly self-absorbed.
DeleteXOXO
A few years younger isn't bad, but when you start talking decades, I have a problem. I always think of it this way. One of you is eventually going to die, (if it works) usually the older one, which lives the younger one (now quite middle aged) having to look for romance.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? You're thinking on the long haul, not just a roll in the hay. That's what I was thinking when I wrote about Maddie's parents. I would not mind taking care of a man who is ten years older than I am. We would be growing older together. But I'd feel like a burden if I'm seventy and he's forty. Besides, sex.
DeleteXOXO
What’s the old joke? A gentlemen in his 90s is dating a 24 year old.
ReplyDeleteHe goes to his doctor and asks for a Viagra prescription after telling the doctor his situation with an impending new young girlfriend.
His doctor warns him: “ Given the length of time that you have abstained from sex, I’ve got to warn you- sex could prove to be fatal.”
“Doc”, says the old man, “if she dies, she dies
I think there could be more disadvantages to dating someone decades younger could than advantages. I think chief among them would be culture shock. Give me a good dinner and a movie. I’m not a gamer and not a partier. But as it’s been said before there are some old souls out there that might be compatible.
So I guess just never say never. But be comfortable and safe.
XOXO 👨❤️💋👨
Ha! And yes, besides the physical part of it, there's always that nagging feeling of disconnect when your life outside of the bedroom does not match. It's not like I would not enjoy Coachella, mind you. It's just that it's not a priority. Culture shock is a very good way to put it, bae.
DeleteXOXO
I have a small crush on a young man 30 years younger than me. A relationship is out of the question because in many ways it is like being from different worlds. But we do get together to play chess and drink a few beers from time to time. I enjoy this friendship a lot. Anything more would be impossible for this friendship.
ReplyDeleteThat’s so sweet! And I admit it would be easy to crouch on someone who shares our hobbies (I think playing chess is awesome). It could work as a kind of mentorship, though. Really like the idea of being this realistic, though.
DeleteXoXo