Suite Talk

Here's the thing: I don't like traveling. I abhor the long lines to get your shoes off and walk around on that horrible floor. I think the idea of people looking at my junk in that machine where you lift your arms is kind of invasive. It makes me wanna wear a metal cockring just to see their reaction. I have been patted down and I don't mind it, I just find the getting to the airport two or three hours before my flight super annoying. How did all that work before 9/11? I don't even remember anymore.

I don't like flying either. I feel slightly claustrophobic and even though I'd make small talk, I'm not really chatty when I'm enclosed in a tin can flying ten thousand feet off the ground. I dread the plane jumping and I cannot eat or drink anything because I get nauseous. Flying is not a good experience for me. I usually bring my Kindle and read one or three books per trip.

I cannot pack to save my life. For the last trip to Alaska, I packed my trusty duffel bag (I got it at one of those Navy surplus stores and it's a BLESSING!) And I was able to pack all the hoodies I needed. Packing for cold weather is not easy! Everything is so bulky! But I usually overpack. I cannot seem to be able to calculate well that it is that I'm going to wear and I always bring stuff I don't even get unpack. I admire people who travel for a week with two t-shirts, two pairs of boxers and a toothbrush. 

I mostly travel by car. I'd say my favorite mean of transportation is by train, because the three or five times I've traveled by train I've been the most relaxed EVER. It's way expensive, though, to get your own little room. America fucked it up when it uprooted most of its train infrastructure. So by car it is. I feel better because my luggage is handy and I can stop for the night if I'm doing a ten or twelve hour trip. Still, I don't like traveling through the South (and by South I mean anything below St. Louis), so it's a struggle.

I don't mind hotel rooms, though. Some people can't stand them but I've always had good experiences. Except the one time we were in Crystal Beach, Texas. We had to stop at a hotel by the sea and I felt so absolutely weirded out that we left five minutes after entering the room. That was an AWFUL hotel. The walls were paper thin, the door had no latch, the bathroom was beyond basic and there were people cooking outside our door. We were out so fast I was not able to appreciate the threadbare towels.

So, what's your hacks for traveling? What would you recommend I do so I'm not such a nightmare traveler? I have been accumulating cities in my bucket list and I don't know when I'm going to start traveling again, but one never knows, right? Omicron may be giving us a respite...

XOXO