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Really, I sometimes wonder what goes through my mind when I'm looking at porn. I wonder, is it desire? Is it just aimlessly looking for that trigger that is gonna make me feel good? What is it?
Is it just a drive? I've discovered that there is not a certain scene that makes me stop and stare. I look at bears, twinks, dad/son combos, muscle bound studs, Latin, Black, White, no matter. I do sleek Sean Cody videos, Men, TimTales, Lucas, Helix.

I do like five minute amateur videos, I do like elaborate studio productions. I imagine it just takes a certain mood I latch into that responds to the men in the video to get me hooked? In these times of porn abundance (if there's a wi-fi, there's a boner) the possibilities are endless, and sometimes I end up watching porn that I really have not found titillating before.

And I surprise myself. I have found that sometimes scenes that have nothing to do with 'me' end up being hot. They say porn is just projection and they may be right. But then, does that mean that I would WANT what's on the screen? Or is it just that the stimuli is too alluring to let it pass?

I don't know. And I think I just better keep enjoying being in the candy store.





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