prada shoes

The blogsphere has been on fire talking about this. Well, so has been the internet overall, therefore I decided to contribute a little to the discussion. I do have stake on this, though. What with having been raised catholic and all that jazz. 

I went to catholic school all through primary and secondary school. I was also an altar boy for much of that time. I used to help do mass twice a week and three times during holy week.  I also used to drink the wine destined for the priests with other altar boys. We also ate the wafers with custard. Yum. When we were bored, we used to lure seminarians to their doom by climbing the walls of the local catholic monastery while wearing short shorts and blowing kisses at them. We also pretended to not know anything about the bible and would attend Sunday school when a hot new priest would be leading study. And there were some that were absolute lookers. 

We used to bet on which one of the seminarians would be the first to climb the wall to be with us. There were always two or three who decided to play with us. We told priests the most outrageous erotic stories to get a raise out of them. And two thirds of the time we hit the target. You have no idea how many priests I made accommodate themselves while in confession. We were a terror. But we liked getting the free time off we got for being altar boys. We all took our first communion together. As far as I know, we were all gay. All but one never got married. We were absolutely reckless and had a blast. So these allegations of all these men in the clergy being gay is not a surprise. 

So when I was reading about this book,  In The Closet Of The Vatican, I was absolutely not shocked. The catholic church has always been a cesspool of sexual repression and backstabbing fuckery. When I was in school, we heard stories about some priests who would disappear one day and we'd never heard from them again. We also knew many of the seminarians were gay. Duh. Some of my friends had their first kisses with them. But nobody in our families told us not to be altar boys. Being an altar boy was the shit for the older generation. It was the next best thing. Having a nun or a seminarian in the family was considered a high honor. It's a catholic thing. If you were not raised catholic you would not understand.

The catholic church has gotten away with literally murder for hundreds of years. There's few institutions that are more corrupt and power hungry. There's few institutions that are more entrenched in money, power, secrecy and lies. Organized religion is a great scam and the catholic church has exploited it for centuries, so I am not sorry at all that books like this are written. In the last years more and more scandals have rocked the upper and lower echelons of the organization. New, less apparently corrupt religions have sprung up like mushrooms after the rain. and the catholic church has closed churches and 'retired' priests and bishops, both because they cannot hide their fucked up lives anymore and because people just don't go to catholic churches like before. 

Pope Francis Offers Molested Kids 10% Off At Vatican City Gift Shop https://t.co/JSIkQ1H2bo pic.twitter.com/3On4T26DMi

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 24, 2019

The church does take care of its sheep, though. Many of the corrupt and sometimes gay priests find protection and a golden parachute after they are vanished from their parishes. It's some kind of fucked up honor code they have. The men give away their lives and their sex drive to the church and the church takes care of them when they're either too old or too compromised to be part of society. The church finds someone to take care of their celibate asses until they die. Many don't get those Prada shoes, though, and languish, with high cholesterol and a fucked up libido in some church-owned, fixed-rent, semi-run down little house in some nondescript neighborhood in a big city. 

So I kind of find all those stories and books popping up and tearing down the veil of secrecy that the church has managed to keep up for the last seven hundred years amusing. I don't feel sorry for them. At all. The messed up history of the church needs to be known. All churches deserve all their secrets exposed. Because they all have skeletons in their closet.

XOXO