Go back in time

Show more

Posting.... posting.... posting.....


I can't believe I've been so busy and out of my mind that I have not written in like seems forever. Let's see. What have I been doing? Oh, right. Working. Writing. Working. Writing. And not FUN writing, mind you. Just plain, dry academic writing. Ugh.
It's been all the damn dissertation. It's maddening. And the whole job interview thing has been madness. I have never been so stressed out. Even friends and people who have seem to be friendly until now have taken an ominous attitude about them. Maybe it's because I want the job so much -even if it's to get over with the whole waiting thing- or because my pride is on the line.
I think it's as much a matter of pride (I have the job now, why should I not keep it? Was I good enough in a pinch but not permanently? I wonder....) But also because it'll end once and for all that implicit ".... and you're getting a 'real' job when?..." I'm not sure. But it sure has taken time from me and my thoughts. It's not good to be so centered on something that depends just so much of what you do. It's their decision after all. And I should not fret or anything. Whatever will be, will be.
Oh, and we've been going to couples counseling. It is actually productive and I even have a little photocopy with 'feeling' words and we're to develop a routine that goes something like: "When you.... I felt.... because..." and it's worked so far. I think we should not focus on the negative (it would make us both even MORE defensive) but also on the positive. I think I'll do that. After all, I'm still in this relationship, right? I've told him I'm not sure I trust him completely and he has said that I don't let him get to know me. Maybe because he uses everything I say against me? Or because I become defensive and blame him? Maybe because of all this and more. But the whole 'communication' thing seems to be going smoother. I don't want to think what will happen when we get to the sex part.
Because all this 'togetherness' and 'tell me what's on your mind' are suppossed to be his prerrogatives, his way to get 'intimacy'. I'm trying to work on this so when we get to what matters to me we can talk. It won't be pretty, I'm sure. Hopefully, there'll be a solution. Maybe a sex substitute a la Kinsey? One can only hope for Liam Neeson and Saaskard...

Cheers, now. Going back to bed...

Comments

Translate

Followers

Popular Posts

En otra lengua

  • El horror de NYC - Como hijo de los años 80, viví de lejos, pero en permanente estado de alerta, la propagación del VIH/SIDA. No tengo recuerdos muy nítidos de la época e...
    3 days ago
  • La carta robada - [image: Quintero ha contratado en la Alcaldía a más de 40 exfuncionarios de Luis Pérez - La Silla Vacía] “Hasta que la dignidad se haga costumbre”. ...
    6 days ago
  • ¿25 años no son nada? - Hace 25 años... el emigrante...un par de maletas llenas y el corazón lleno y acompañado. Muchas ilusiones por un nuevo país, un nuevo horizonte, quizás n...
    1 week ago
  • MIS DOS DÍAS EN GRINDR - Nunca he sido usuario de las apps de ligoteo, y no por tener una opinión contraria formada al respecto. Hasta ahora seguía ese refrán de mi abuela de "ca...
    2 weeks ago
  • - Hoy camine algunas calles de la ciudad que habito, podría decirse que aunque la habito me siento ajeno, basta caminar o mirar las montañas para darse cuen...
    6 years ago

Restricted to Adults

Restricted to Adults
Under 18? Beat it. Now.