All I want for Christmas...





I have yet to decide what I'll give myself for Christmas. Because I really like that. I don't usually wait for anybody to give me anything, I just go ahead and buy whatever I really want and that's it. I'd ask for Jake wearing a Santa hat and nothing else, but I can't really have that. Can I? So I'll just try and find myself a replacement.

You may think that that's not really fun. But who knows you better than anyone? Yourself. It's silly trying to gauge how much people love you or know you or appreciate you by the things they give you. It's a stance that will get you upset every time. People do know stuff about you, but only as much as you let them know. You are always different with everybody, so how do you expect them to 'know' you? And in the case of some people, they are never 'real', they always wear some kind of mask with everybody and behave in a different way with every person they interact with.

I have an idea of how my friends 'are' but still I don't give 'things' to them unless I'm sure that they will like them. I sometimes do the 'tell me three things you like' and that's much better. It still has the element of surprise but it really is something they like. It's hard, though. I have lots of acquaintances and a few good friends. And there's him, of course.

Let's see. To my acquaitances I usually send cards. It's nice to see people remember you and do something nice to let you know you're in their minds with a little 'something'. With my friends, I usually do the 'give me three things you like' routine. It works every time. And with him, well, he insists he does not want anything so I just go out and buy something I think it'll be useful. He's pragmatic, what can I say.

So I'll give myself a few days and then I'll go out and buy something cool for myself. I always enjoy the process as much as the thinking about the object I want. Seriously. Try it and you'll see. Most of the things I enjoy the most have been gifts I've bought myself. It's like self-gratification, but less momentary and a little bit more expensive.

But the satisfaction lasts longer and as you enjoy whatever it is that you give to yourself, all those around yourself will feel the cool vibe. So go ahead. Be my guest. Try it once. You'll never look back.

P.S. When I write stuff like this is when I kind of understand why is it that he likes the touch of his own hand so much. Not that it makes me feel better, but my rational mind feels at peace for like seven seconds.

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