What a feeling

Funny, how time flies. I was talking to someone and mentioned that we hadn't seen each other in eight years. He said it was four. I cannot seem to keep track of time. I was watching Flashdance and for a second I could not believe it came out in '83. Go figure. I can still remember when I saw the previews in a theater downtown and swore I would watch that movie. I can still remember when the day of the premiere came and I was there, sitting in the dark, all eyes and ears and shallow breathing. I could not believe it, the people in the movie were so vivid, so real, so close and to many things I knew and so far from my reality that I could not stop staring.
I was starting college and everything was exciting and new and I could not believe I was living on my own and all I was missing was Prince Charming. And so I cut my hair and started meeting tons of people and loved my books and my classes and everything was new and scary and exciting. And then Prince Charming came and without thinking I was living with him and getting my first job ever and everything seemed to come and go so very fast.
And it is still coming and going fast. I cannot believe it's been four years since I've talked to him -now my ex- and almost twenty four years since that movie came out. And I am still amazed by many things, still think about Prince Charming and the idea I had then of him and the actual man I live with now. Some things stay with us for a long time, I guess. I am still amazed by many things and still like books and learning and college. But I am no the same. Sometimes I feel as dated as the leg warmers and the off-the-shoulder sweater Jennifer Beals wears in the movie. Sometimes I feel like I felt when seeing the movie for the first time: amazed, in awe, excited and motivated.
For me sometimes time flies by. Sometimes it seems like an eternity. Sometimes I feel content, sometimes I feel there's something missing that I will never get. Funny, how parts of our lives are gone forever. If only they were as easy to relive or review as it is renting a movie that once seemed the epitome of cool.
But one cannot have it all, can one?