Baby's got back...
A fucked up back, that is. Oh, yeah. I can move, but it's kind of difficult. I threw my back off while making my bed (!!??). I apparently have this very bad custom to turn my torso in one direction while my hips are going the complete opposite direction. Snap! I'm on the floor, pain shotting through my back and I can't move freely for a few days. Fucked.
I am also suspecting that my not relaxing makes the whole thing even worse. I was actually in Wheeling (WV) over the weekend and I was kind of ok. On Ibuprofen an muscle relaxants, but ok. And I come back home and there I am: again fucked up. If I were to go all Freudian on my own ass, I'd say that the whole thing is psychosomatic. You see, I've discovered that it's kind of difficult to relax with him (who came back from his trip unusually randy, maybe due to some 'practice' with some Thai gay boy??) and that the idea of having one of those 'planned' shagging sessions is totally not attractive. I have no idea if you reember, but I can't usually perform under pressure: I freeze up and NOTHING happens. My libido is fragile like that. Who would have thunk, huh?
So I think that my stiff back (the only thing stiff about me right now) has to do with my having a weak back but also with my being stressed at some unconscious level and not admitting it, even to myself. I think that I'm shying away from him. Again. Fuck.
Thank goodness for this blog, though. When I put my thoughts here some things actually make sense. Oh, well. Let's just go for some more muscle relaxants and some Ibuprofen. I may even get better enough to enjoy the fourth tomorrow. I wanted to go to this little picnic the guys are planning, but I'll end visiting his friends from the office, who usually have a cookout on the forth. The joys of marriage, dear.
And I've read your MySpace little blog. More like a stream-of-consciousness set of notes on your days than the diary/reflection posts/quasi-poetry you kept here in Blogger. But still. The one about semen was hysterical. You do have a twisted -yet witty- sense of humor, babyboy.