Mini-not-me?




Funny. I've been feeling strangely introspective lately. I've been also kind of off-kilter (more than usual, you'd say) and sad/happy. It may be the lack of structure of Summer, when I don't follow a strict schedule of classes and work and shit.
You see, it's a very weird dichotomy: it's your vacation, when you basically rest. But there are so many things in the back burner that you feel you are NOT doing what you are supposed to do: keep working on whatever it is that you have to be working. And I feel guilty. It's kind of exacerbated by his '...and what are you doing today..?' that may be just courteous, but that knowing me is more '... and are you doing what you're supposed to be doing??'. Or at least that's how I read it. And that may be the problem. As he says, it's 'me' being bitchy without reason. But I know how his compulsiveness leaves no room to 'improvise' anything. Nothing can go unplanned. It's just not right in his book.
It's all getting a little tense again between us, too. It was going to work wonderfully after he came from vacations, but it has not worked out. I think I'm going to have a loving, sexless marriage. All the action I'll get will come in ones and zeros. For real.
Sometimes I wonder if with time (let's say ten years) I'll become totally impotent and asexual... But there's Viagra and Picasso to mention some inspiration. Meanwhile, I'll just take another gander at this guy's nipples. I'm a sucker for nipples.

The pic is from http://www.bearfighter.de/

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