Youyoku

I want these two symbols to be tattooed on me, because I have decided I am going to carry on my skin all I want, desire or think I have. As a reminder, as a consolation prize and as a vicarious way to possess what I think I need.

The first character means feeling, emotions, passion, sympathy, affection, love, compassion, tender feelings, and sometimes circumstances or facts. All these I associate with a relationship and with sex, but have rarely found in only one person. I have always tended to start tearing apart myself and whomever is my lover at the time because even all these characteristics describe our relationship, the second character and all that it implies is missing or fading.

The second character means desire, longing, appetite, wish, covetousness, greed, passion, desire, and craving. And these I have found in all the wrong people. Sometimes I want some men just for that, without the meanings attached to the first character. I usually tend to provoke these feelings on some people without trace of the components of the first character. Just my luck, huh?

Maybe the fact that the Chinese and the Japanese have two symbols to signify 'Lust' makes them much more smarter than us. Ultimately, I think I'll have to either live without the second component or steal it sporadically, so I can keep the first character in my life. My curse? Not being able to enjoy the second without being part of the first. Sometimes you have no idea how I wish I could have just the second one. Freely, no strings attached, heat of the moment.

Meanwhile, I'll find a way to have it all. Being inked seems the perfect solution. I think I'll go for blue ink, blue being the color of lust. Did you know that?

Blue Velvet, anyone?