Gay Man Law
This is so hysterical I just needed to post it here. It belongs to a Facebook group (you know, the more-addictive-than-crack-cocaine social networking site) but it made me laugh so hard I just had to share. Behold the laws of the land for the homo:
1. Thou shall love the movie Trick.
2. Always have an umbrella handy to make sure your hair is always at its finest.
3. Always demand an invitation to both the bachelor and the bacholorette parties of heterosexual friends.
4. Try no to get caught cruising by the cops, it just makes you look desperate.
5. When spreading rumors it's ok to exaggerate the truth if it makes the rumor more interesting.
6. Always try to turn your best friend’s straight brother gay, always.
7. It's ok to be late, the heterosexuals just expect it from us. Don't make another homosexual wait too long though because it's a miracle that they are even ready on time.
8. Bitching about the free liquor is a fellow homo's fridge is expected, unless it's Grey Goose.
9. Always kiss a fellow homo on their birthday, and offer to provide sexual favors.
10. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot boy your best gay friend is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your friend is forbidden to speak of it.
11. Before dating a fellow homo's ex, you are required to ask his permission. If they say no you are allowed to date them anyway.
12. Straight men who say they're ok with gay people but don't try to hook up with need to be watched closely because they can't be trusted.
13. If a homo's zipper is down reach in and give his willy a shake.
14. When a homo asks you to help him move laugh in their face.
15. Homosexuals don't fart in public, end of story.
16. Only drink fruity chick drinks. Drinking beer is for hetero men and we're above that.
17. When fighting a fellow homo degrade them verbally till you can't anymore and then commence hitting like a girl.
18. Always save a fellow homo when an unattractive comes up to him at a club. Put your arm around him and act as their boyfriend.
19. If your friend is being trash talked behind their back it is your duty to say what the person doing the trash talking has left out. Example: "And I heard that they have herpes!"
20. Thou shall worship Karen Walker.
21. Never hesitate to reach for the last anything. We're gay and we deserve it.
22. When in the bathroom it's OK to sneak a peak at your neighbor’s goodies, just don't get caught!
23. If Britney, Cher, Christina, or Madonna come on in the car you are expected to sing along and know every word.
24. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his boyfriend, you must attempt to get a piece of the action or swear you'll tell his boyfriend.
25. The morning after you and a fellow homo who was formerly "just a friend" have drunken doggie sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.