Brain boner

I have to confess to a weakness for geeks and eggheads.
Right. I think smart is HOT and that geeky men rule. Call it the Clark Kent syndrome, if you may. Right now, for example I am crushing hardcore about a boy (he's a boy at 22, trust me) who fulfills all the requirements: lanky body (check!), glasses (check!), smart (check!), sensitive (check!), not in love with me (check!). Oh, I know. That last little detail.
It's just that he's looking for someone his age, single and pretty. Oh well. Who said you can have it all? Even if I were single and younger, I think still there would be some problems. Because there are ALWAYS problems with the men I crave.
Like I THINK there may be some chemistry between us (on my side, I've felt that tingle that makes me wanna mingle several times when I'm with him, mind you), and I have felt him respond some times with a lot of restraint. And there's definitely intellectual affinity (he's very smart and centered for his age and even though he's got some issues -who doesn't??- he's generally less fucked up than your average younger gay boy) as well as shared interests and the fact that we enjoy each other's company. But you know what? We're both bottoms. So even if we would agree to progress to the 'next' stage -which we won't because of many, many reasons- there would be some ... logistics that would need a lot of ironing.
Yep. He's apparently had relationships with some other boys of the same persuasion before, but I really don't know if I could *ahem* perform, if you get my drift. For one, I get terrible stage fright and also, I believe I've lost my mojo (long story, I'll update you on that some time in the future) and I cannot keep a boner with a boy for long nowadays. Psychological bullshit could explain that but basically, I'm fucked up. Secondly, I have not had sex with a man for awhile and the sex I did have was somehow uncomfortable and awkward. I know. I know. I told you, my mojo is fucked up.
Anyways, I've dreamt of this boy and in my mind, I've fucked him a thousand times (and he had fucked me, trust me). But in real life, I'll just keep pining for his touch and fantasizing about doing him. I think it's better than nothing. I'll just keep being his sidekick and buddy and confidant. It's better than nothing. Don't you think??