Un anno d'amore
And there goes yet another year. Who would have thunk it'd go so fast? Each year now goes like water and yet it takes forever for it to finish. And what can we say when it's over? What we always say? What we never say? Because writing about the year that has just passed and the new one that comes is the most difficult thing to do. No?
Because we tend to forget about the good stuff, once it's over; as well as the day-by-day of our lives -unless it's an ex-lover, but that's another story- it all goes by in a haze of meetings, and driving the car and going grocery shopping. So this is yet another year that goes by. And it's not that I don't feel comfortable in my turf. Like a cat, I stomp and pace and prance and strut in it and then sit comfortably, to create my own space, where many things happen and nothing happens at all sometimes. So I feel thankful. I should. I managed not to fuck it up this year.
And then there's the friends. The ones that don't talk to you anymore (because they're bipolar, mad at you or for whatever reason), and the ones that always send you a poke, a message, a reminder of what you two are and who you two are for each other. All those friends on Facebook, and Myspace, and Ringo, and on the one and a hundred IMs and blogs and places in cyberspace where you become ones and zeros. They are always there, and cannot be replaced by visits to Macy's -or Hot Topic- or by the movies or by a book. Their company, even in cyber-space still has that warmth that nothing else can replace. Because you miss the in-joke, the sharing and remembering of those moments that only you know about and that have stayed with you forever. The warmth of the ones and zeroes. I'm telling you.
And it's in those moments that you go back to talk to yourself and get in touch with that inner you (that sometimes is an inner bitch, but hey, nobody is perfect), and then you feel alive, you feel that even though you are living with borrowed time (we are all visiting here, let's be realistic) and you feel a little bit of good-natured nostalgia. And that makes you count your blessings (that are many, don't be silly) and laugh about your mistakes (that are a few). Because you ARE living with borrowed time (payed in very affordable monthly stipends) and the down payment you gave is your very own life. And you feel that you've grown (a little bit sometimes, a great deal some others) and that you have got all you need (you're healthy and you've got love to give).
And you realize that all is good. That even though there may be a little gray here and there and you cannot do Yoga or Pilates as well as few years ago and you have realized you've started to stop the insanity with Cold Stone (because it's ice cream and ice cream has LOTS of cholesterol) thinking about those size 30 jeans you want to keep wearing, everything is ok.
That even though someplace, somehow, somewhat there is something missing, because you think you did have more -or less- at another time, you have to make do with what you have now. And realize that that's good enough for now.
So Happy New Year, Kittens.