Loves company. Watching other people make mistakes is kind of unsettling. It's like watching an accident by the side of the road, I guess. You don't want to look, but it's like something inside decides to do it for you. And you watch. And you feel guilty by association and strangely relieved that it’s not you.
Still, you feel you need to comment. It's not like you want your friends to go through the shit you've been through (and you've been through plenty). Choosing the wrong men, doing the wrong men, being manipulated by the wrong men. Never ending cycle of learning.Yet we don't seem to 'learn'. We seem to just bounce back and then move on to our next mistake. Why is that so? Human nature? Inertia? I don't know.
I understand the lure of the good-sex-from-hell (have made plenty of that mistake) but I seem to have stayed away from that one lately (maybe because I am just too much of a chickenshit wuss?). But I seem to only stay when the advantages are more than the disadvantages.
I’ll give you example: he's a hot piece of cock and he knows how to fuck you. And he is great out of bed. And he fulfills some basic emotional needs. And he plays safe. And he is smart. And I have nobody else who is as interesting as he is. So you tend to stay with him even if he’s playing you. Even when and if he plays you. I guess it's part of his game and if you am accepting the good parts, then you have to play with the bad ones, too.
I can understand when my friends are dickmatized. Oh, yeah. I can understand that.
Or when he's a good partner. And he tells you he loves you. And he is good to you. And he fulfills most of your emotional needs. And you have built a life together. Even if the sex is not the best (or not there). Again, you take the good and the bad. I can understand when my friends are in it for the relationship they have.
I can understand all that. But still, I would like to tell them that it does not always work. That the sex stops being fabulous and that his playing will get to them. And that they will be wanting more and he won’t be able to give it to them. And that the relationship lure will not be able to help them stay together with a man who cannot be a lover and a companion. That love sometimes is almost not enough to keep you from looking at other men who may offer that which they cannot get from the man who loves them.
So what’s a boy to do?