And the Oscar goes to..
This is part of a conversation I was having with another gay man, a friend of mine, regarding his penchant for 'straight-acting' gays and his adoration for straight man. My point was that if they are 'acting' there is something intrinsically wrong there. You should not have to 'act' to look a certain way and if a guy defines himself as straight, he has no business having his dick sucked by another man or fucking men in the down-low... (typo but I'm keeping it! LOL)
... addiction to straight men or those (fake) self-proclaimed straight-acting gay guys is just not healthy. Overly masculine men that try very hard to not appear 'gay' are as faggy as the worst flamer. Masculinity is a social construct and you are just buying into internalized homophobia when you say you 'only date straight-acting men'. One thing is to date men who you find attractive because they fulfill your 'masculinity quota' and other thing is to shun anybody who may 'appear' to even 'be gay' just because of that.
Sucking straight dick and letting a straight man fuck you may be fun for ten minutes but at the end it only brings heartache. Or you think you'll ever have a relationship (besides fuck buddy) with one of those straight guys? Too many gay men buy into what society has decreed 'masculine' and that plays against them. I don't mind my men a little faggy: sensitive, clean, loving, understanding, open, committed to you. That's not something you'll find in your masculine, straight men. Or in those straight-acting ('acting' implies deception, per se) gay men who accumulate internalized homophobia and become a caricature of what a man should be. An attitude? yes. That you can get in your straight men. Nice legs, probably. A swagger, a swooning attitude, probably. A hard dick to idolize? Most probably. A longing for something one thinks one does not possess? Yes. Love? No. Straight men could be a handy choice in case of lust, of course. But you will never find love there. Pity, knowing that you are condemning yourself to a life of longing just because you cannot take a little pink... and I'm saying a little, not flaming, over-the-top-lispy- pink, just pink. Your garden variety gay man, with all his pros and cons. Gay men come in all shapes, sizes, colors and degrees of masculinity. Even the most masculine bottoms are still bottoms, dear. Does that make them less 'masculine'? I don't think so.
That idolization of straight (and straight-acting) men is just one more trap that we gay men have created for ourselves. That and the body-image one, the age one, the style one... it goes on and one. We build the walls of our on prison. Like joining a group that demeans faggy men. Joining groups that fetishize muscles, hard bodies, sports.. all that is kind of valid. But embracing internalized homophobia (when we are not the ideal we pander to) is kind of ... self-defeating? Men are masculine, just by being themselves. That's why most times you can spot the transvestites. There's something intrinsically masculine in every man. And that's what we should aim for.
BTW, do you think you're faggy? I think I am. And I actually enjoy it. More some times than others, but I enjoy it. And I play it up: it has gotten me plenty of dick. Straight dick. But it's like cotton candy: a diet of it just makes you nauseous...
And while looking for an image to put in this post, came across this NIGHTCHARM post. Really interesting. Food for thought, I'd say.