My cup of Joe

I like porn. I have liked porn ever since those older boys showed me porn magazines when I was barely out of middle school. I moved on to sneaking out to the drug store and buying Playgril. And then buying Honcho. I remember the looks the women at the counter gave me. I was barely out of my teens and there I was, buying gay leather magazines with full-frontal of rugged men and the hottest stories ever. But I loved those men (still do). The magazine has gone mainstream porn with the glossy, shaved men found in every other gay skin magazine. But I still remember those men in the first days I bought the magazine. I scored used book fairs and second-hand stores for them. I'd sit down for hours reading the erotica they had and then ogling those men in the pages. Many a night (and day) I spent fantasizing about those men. What they could do to me... what I could do to them.

And I don't think the dynamics have changed. I have looked at porn (and read it) even when in relationships. I still look at porn and enjoy it. Somebody once told me that the idea is that we lose ourselves either in the action taking place (and we are one of the people involved) or we enjoy the voyeuristic pleasure of watching other people go at it. I have to confess that I have not explored those answers. When I look at porn I guess my mind kicks into fifth gear and I forget everything else. Which I imagine it's the way it should be. I think the same should happen when you're having sex. Having sex with the right person, I mean. Because I have had sex with some guys and I have been hyper-conscious of everything: the room, the sights, the smells, the moves. More like a fly on the wall than a willing participant. Those are the times when fantasy -and porn- actually look better than being in bed with a sexy man (or a man with a big dick, or a man with nice muscles, or whatever tickles your fancy) . Those are the bad tricks, the failed fucks, the walk-of-shame rolls in the hay.

But I have learned things from porn. From that highly stylized and pre-processed product you can get actual information that is useful when having sex. Like making sure you know what is going on actually: that the guys do not always have those rock-hard erections, that they need to clean themselves up thoroughly because there is no way you can take an eight inch dick up your ass and not get messy if you don't take precautions. Like the right way to put a condom on (when the dick is hard and always pinch the reservoir). Like finding out that the best way for you to start is sitting on your man and the best way to come is on your back or on your side. Like learning that everything is edited to seem to last for an hour when it's only a matter of half (or less, if you are really, really horny or you really, really like the man). Like liking more the amateur-ish stuff with men who sweat and swear and do not always place themselves in the right position for the camera, but that are really enjoy fucking and getting fucked. Like the fact that not all men are hairless muscle mannequins, but that many indeed have hairy legs and chests and stubble on their faces. And that their perfect 'imperfections' is what makes them hot.

I have also moved away from the mainstream American porn brand of bland 'modeling' and worse 'acting'. I'd rather watch European porn, with its raw emotion and less evident gay-for-pay straight actors. That brand of porn is also incredibly rough around the edges in what concerns filming and men, (even though sometimes I do fall hard for the sheer beauty of those Bel Ami boys) and has hotter scenes that make you forget the cheap production realness. I'd rather watch dudevu, gayforit or even xtube instead of paying for Corbin Fisher, Sean Cody, Chaos Men or Randy Blue or any of the other porn providers. I do look at their men (gorgeous yet somehow homogeneously uncommon) and some of them really are sexy. I just cannot take the 'I'm straight but open-minded' excuse some of them give to suck cock. I'd rather give my attention to anonymous men in xtube filming their sexy times with their boyfriends with a handheld camera for all the world to see. Much more heartfelt and incredibly more stimulating. Or the guys who peddle their shares in those channels, touching themselves for our eyes (and everybody's eyes) only. Unadultered, unselfconscious, unapologetic and utterly sexy.

So I like my porn rough around the edges. Like that video of Joe Dallesandro at the beginning of the post. In his prime in the seventies, parading his beauty for all to see (most of his co-stars, men and women, fell for him. I bet he was bisexual, or most probably omnisexual). With just an added dash of fantasy, it makes for very interesting (and stimulating) viewing.

And you? How do you like your Joe?