So the new year came and went. I spent it in Chicago, mind you. And if one's to believe all those folk tales, that's where I'll be this year, isn't that so? I even sipped a little bit of a very bitter champagne. If I were prone to metaphors, I'd say that last day of 2008 and the first one of 2009 are kind of what my life appears will be: a day of moving around a huge city, following a GPS device's advice and then going to dinner to an Asian-fusion restaurant and then on to somebody's big house, a house full of strangers, a pretty and empty house where I spent time witnessing how a young man very masterfully flirted with me (that was kind of an added bonus because...who knew I still had it in me?). Then we went on to a good friend's house to spend the night (we were an hour away from home) and spending the first day of 2009 driving around town, then home again and sleeping until early evening. If only life were that easy...
So I've decided to re-invent myself. Yet again. Like Madge, who's been on the scene for twenty years, sticking her tongue out to the haters and delighting her followers. Because there's a Madonna cult, I'm sure. Is it because she's really a gay man in a woman's body, as she's been accused of being? (as if it she were the first one!!) or because she refuses to go down silently? or because she's always managed to take the worst and make the best out of it?
Like that Justify my Love debacle, when in 1991 (oh, what a year!) MTV refused to play the video and she went on to sell millions of the video single launching a whole new way to promote singles? And then during the re-invention tour she re-invented it and read parts of the Book of Revelations to the same beat, making it fresh and meaningful again (at least for me). I guess that's what some people cannot take: the fact that she is able to re-imagine herself and get all on your face again with something that she already did (and that some people at that time said she had 'stolen' from someone else, but who cares).
So that's my inspiration for these first months: re-invent myself, use the 'bad' to make 'good' and move on. Because one thing I have decided not to do is to dwell. I cannot dwell in my perceived misery, in my own self-pity, in the alleged despair I should experience. I have to move on. And I will. In the words of Madge: 'Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another'. I won't let that 'other' dictate my life. Even if it seems that my life is out of control or not in the 'right' track, depending on a resolution taken by somebody in some pitiful little office. I'll take whatever it comes to be and re-invent it. For me, to justify my love the only thing I need is to be breathing. And I'm still doing it. Isn't that so?