Bomba Estéreo - Amar Así (Official Video)

Sometimes I wonder about the restrictive stiffness of 'the closet'. As someone who has never been 'in' the closet, the idea has baffled me for years. I try to understand the reasons why (family, work, religion, convenience, etc) but still, I believe the toll it takes on the person should be absolutely staggering. Cannot imagine it.

I recently learned through my ManFriend (please, I haven't had a boyfriend since I'm 14!) of one acquaintance of his who is apparently in the closet, yet does Skype sessions with guys he meets online. I did a double take. How is that possible? It seems to contradict the basic tenant of the closet: secrecy.

I imagine that the closet requires a double dose of cognitive dissonance: you need to deny some of your wants most of the time while convincing yourself that openly accepting your needs means you're not out. After all, thousands of republican politicians demonstrate that dissonance every single day. Or maybe the closet is just another manifestation of how you live your life? Can you be partially closeted? Out to some people? Closeted-ish? Because I think there are some closets that are partially open, or open to some people. Like, circumstantial outing?

As I told you, the closet baffles me. Not because the person is closeted, but because the amount of energy and care that should be put into it should be staggering. But some people live with it all their lives. For some, the closet IS their life. So I look at life in the closet both as a curiosity but also as a social manifestation of the lengths we go to live our lives including all the facets it has. Do I judge that acquaintance of my ManFriend? I don't think I do. Do I look at him with curiosity? You bet.

At the end, we will never be able to really gain insight into someone else's life and we will never totally understand their motivations. I think not even they understand their motivations. But from my point of view, if they are not harming anybody (I'm looking at you, closeted republicans!) The Closeted should be left alone. After all, it's their life. And we are all for sure too busy with our own lives to try and understand theirs.



xoxo