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hey big spender...

I have often thought that if I had the money, I'd use an escort service. And then you (yes, YOU!) you would have some birthday party! Yep, I would give you a thrill and something to remember. And I would be happy to do so. I would probably choose that one porn actor that you find so cute. Because once in, why not go all the way?

And I would do it for two reasons: first, I know you'd like it. You're GGG: good in bed, game for whatever and give as well as take affection. Dan Savage really nailed it there. We have a very open relationship, and we talk about what we like in the sack and what we would like to try. We have tried several 'new' things together and we are not afraid of talking openly about who we find attractive. There's no threat in admitting that an 'other' makes us tick. I guess basically because we know how our relationship works and because we share a bond of affection and because we know that sexual attraction is something natural and very powerful. 

Second, I think sex work is not taboo and sex workers are nor pariahs. I have found myself following porn stars on social media because I find them witty and smart and very... human? That's right. They are just another guy that happens to be either exceptionally endowed or someone who really enjoys sex. And they use that to their advantage and make a living with it. But when the lights go down and everybody has showered, they are just another guy who goes home and watches tv with his feet up. They just happen to have the -allegedly- oldest profession in the world. 

I have followed the spoils of Brent Corrigan, Blake Mitchell and Rocco Steele, to name some. And the experience has been as fun as when you're following your favorite politician, or musician, or artist: you get to see the 'other side' of the public persona. It is still curated, but the person behind the glossy facade is always there. The 'real' man shows up and makes us lust, laugh and think. Just like any other person. 

So yes, if I had the coins to spend, I'd give you your own private lap dance (bet it would be more than that, though) to mark a milestone and I would sit down and enjoy the view. Because after all, it would be YOUR birthday. And you're entitled to have your cake. And eat it, too. 



  1. Sugar, we've talked about this and you know my lusts and desires better than anyone. And you know I would do anything to make you happy. Do you know how intimidating it would be to be in the presence of BC, and you watching? And I know he comes to Chicago at least a couple of times a year for IML and some other awards. I know you want to make me happy and think that this is something that would do it.

    But you know what? The thing that really makes me happy is knowing that somehow, in some weird way, you searched that dating app, saw my pic (bold of me, considering my situation), read the profile and chatted me up. We chatted for about a month, before we ever met at Panera, just to chat some more. What makes me happy is that we have been able to spend time together and sometimes to get away for a couple of days just to enjoy each other. What makes me happy...is YOU. Seeing you twice in one week is special. Seeing you at any time fills my heart.

    Knowing that you chose me, me with all my imperfections and complexities, that makes me happy. And that, after all these years, we still have a connection deeper than the pleasures of the body. That makes me happy. And I hope in some small way that I can make you happy, to bring you some fulfillment in your life.

    I've been going back in time, finally reading your blog. I know that you go for the unconventional guy. I consider myself an underdog in the queer eye, not conventionally handsome, not the gym body and no ass to speak of. But when I'm with you, nothing else matters.

    So save your money, buy yourself something nice from H&M. BC can remain an object of lust, because I've scored something much better. A REAL man. XOXO, lover.


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