Was George Right?

There's always been ageism in the gay community. I'm not telling you anything new. What I have always wondered is... why? I didn't understand it when I was younger. I don't understand it now. I understand the desire for beauty, but beauty is so subjective it doesn't make sense to attribute beauty to just one set of characteristics.

I have always liked what people call 'older men'. And we know that gay men sometimes label an 'older man' anybody over thirty. Thirty five? Forty? I'm not even sure. When I was sixteen, I liked boys who were nineteen and over. I sometimes dallied with men over twenty-five. Boys my age never interested me. They bored me with their reluctance to take showers and their need to smoke cigarettes they didn't know how to hold. Nevertheless, when I grew older, I did date men who were younger than me. Just a few years, but younger. Still, they looked to me as fully-formed, grown-up men. You know what I mean? I don't get the Twink.

I don't think that being (or looking) older is that unforgivable sin that so many gay men are not willing to overlook. Everything that seems to be associated with 'age' in the gay community seems a little superfluous to me. I find the little creases around the eyes a sign of laughter. I find the gray in the hair to be part of a natural progression. I find that the expansion of chest and waist and legs is a sign of maturity. I don't mind the slight curve of a belly, or the softening of a jawline. His beauty is still there. He does not look the same as he did when he was eighteen or twenty-eight, but HE is still there.

I don't mind a man who listened to vinyl records in his room in 1983 and knows what AIDS is and that Reagan did shit to help stop it. I can appreciate someone who has slowed down the pace and now likes to walk on the beach instead of playing volleyball in it while wearing headphones. I know I find interesting someone who knows his share about politics and religion and sex. I can relate better to someone who knows that sex is not just the wham-bam-thank-you-man of a sweaty Saturday night.

I understand why one can be attracted to a clear skin, a taut body and bundles of energy. I know that a dick that does not go down even after the second time is something few would eschew. I know of those days when you're awaken at six in the morning by someone who really takes his morning wood seriously. I think it's interesting to re-discover things with someone who's seeing them for the first time. But most of these things can be found in almost anybody. They are not bound by age.

So I still like my men older. Older than twenty. Older than twenty-five. Older than thirty. Because it is most certain that I will be able to talk to that man after he's come. About something. Anything. About what we just did. About what we will do. About the stupid Republican Party. About a movie. And that to me is crucial. I need to feel my connection to a man go beyond some kisses and a good boning. Young, hung and full of cum will take you just so far. And of course it is fun. I just like to think that there's more to life than a quickie. Because youth most times seems to be all about that time BEFORE you cum. Youth is all foreplay. Age is about the afterglow.

And I don't think I'm ready to let go of that.

xoxo