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I'm sure you've seen the 'no fats, no femmes, no (add racist adjective)' on many of the hookup apps currently used by gay men to hunt for some dick online. Yeah, apparently the masc 4 masc crowd also adds internalized homophobia to racism and body shaming. But I'm here to sing the praise of the femme boy. Yeah. because it really takes a lot of courage to basically walk around through life with a bull's eye on your back and still manage to be completely fab.

There is a crowd that really gets riled up with this one. I've ranted before about the prescription that all men should be 'men' and not 'girls'.  I understand that when it comes to fucking, there are really specific things that turn us on (big chests, big arms, bears, twinks, leather, jocks, the lot...) but when it comes to life, those constructs don't really hold up. The notion of what a 'man' is falls flat on its face when people cannot control it. Life is not limited by the walls of your bedroom, where what happens can be somehow tamed by your desires. In real life (which is 90% of your time) trying to control how others behave or deciding what is acceptable or not when it comes to gender representation is bound to fail.

What the masc 4 masc crowd wants, is for every man to be a 'man', that is, to conform to the idea they have of a man. And that's impossible, because the notions of masculinity and femininity are not the same for everybody. Some traits are interpreted by every person differently. The imposition of certain behaviors to a group of people are not only cruel but arbitrary.

Because that other guy, well, he's going to be a man. Even if he can Vogue. Even if he's as camp as an episode of Golden Girls. Even if he's as flaming as a volcano.  Honey, gender is a social construct. Get over it. Gender representation is a fluid and varied as gender orientation. Not everything and everybody fits in neat little boxes created for the comfort of a few squeamish people who like their sex probably like they like their oatmeal: out of a box.

Femme is fun. Femme is fearless. Femme is above all, ferociously individualistic. And that's an unforgivable sin in society. So kudos to all the femme and gender non-conforming boys who strut their stuff in the street.

So go ahead, guurrl. Sissy that walk!



  1. This seems to come up a lot, babe. And I wish there was a way to get it through people's heads that we are all different. And that difference is the spice of life. I'm not saying that you have to interact with everyone that you come across. But there is no need to denigrate others because they don't meet your "standards."

    Those that present as femme really seem to be in touch with their total person. They seem to have a freedom and fearlessness that I envy. And I think that is what causes the masc community so much fear and anxiety. I think they actually feel threatened that the world at large will equate being gay with being femme. Unfortunately, there is some truth to that among the troglodytes in the straight community, the less enlightened. But even in the straight community there is a variety within the genders. Not every straight guy is into sports, mechanically inclined, and unable to find their way around a kitchen, except for get a beer from the fridge.

    So yeah, fuck the masc 4 masc crowd. They're just jealous of what they don't have.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

  2. I never could understand why the gay community would isolate part of it's own. I guess I'd be classified as a slim otter, but I have did and done drag for years. The transformation has always shocked me. I have gotten some men who have no problem dating me, other find out I do drag and then went even consider dating me because of the drag thing. I myself love all men....in and out of bed.


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