swirl

swirl

two people of different ethnicities hookin up

like the ice cream machine, you got chocolate, vanilla, and swirl

In keeping with the idea of making the silly boys in those hookup apps getting riled up, let’s talk about getting your swirl on. Yeah, as in fucking someone from another race or ethnicity. For some gay men in America, that's a novel idea. And it's about time that they revise their position. In and out of bed.

When we go to bed with someone of another race (especially if we do it with someone that has either being fetishized to the point of oblivion, like black men) we usually do it because we like the men, not only because of his race. Being that the point of fucking someone is sexual attraction, and sexual attraction basically is felt towards the physical or other traits of that person and it's influenced by genetical, psychological or cultural factors. And in 2018 America, that has become a point of contention.

You see, in a country where Black Lives Matter became a rallying cry for both the Left and the Right, expressing direct rejection for someone because of his skin color is not just a 'preference'. The men who state this kind of things really need to revise their status and check their privilege. My problem is not with them feeling that way, my problem is with stating the fact. Publicly setting a whole subset of men apart speaks more about their own perception of race than about the men they are rejecting.

Of course, many of these men are called out online because this is the XXI century and because overt racism is not pretty. It's even uglier than the Masc4Masc moniker. The thing I believe some men forget is that one thing is knowing what turns us on (nice legs, abs, gentle eyes, bubble butts, big dicks...) and another writing down for the world to see that we exclude a whole race from our dating/hooking up pool because in 45's presidency racism is never under the surface. Since 2016 being racist gets you elected to office in the US.

It is funny, too, this distinction; because some men only seem to go for black men. Which is the other side of the coin. So for some men of color, it's either all or nothing. They are totally rejected by other men or fetishized to the point of losing their identity and becoming a BBC. They are either excluded from the dating pool or they become a tool for individual transgression. Is there no winning, then, when you're a queer black man? Positive stereotypes are as harmful as negative ones. Being wanted only because one is expected to have a big dick or because one is expected to look a certain way because of one's race can be as harmful as not being taken into account in the sex pool at all.

I think first there should be some awareness. The dominant culture (which tends to value white cisgender men) should not rule what we consider beautiful or desirable. But the thing is, many men are not even remotely aware that they are being racist because it's never crossed their minds that what they're used to is not the rule. Their life experience does not allow them to actually recognize that there are OTHERS out there that are just not like him. Diversity starts at home.

So what should these men who do not 'cross racial lines' do? Well, they should go out more. Read more. Socialize more. Be more aware of the world and cultures around them. Become more woke, in other words. Being socially aware is always a plus, especially in a hyper-divided country where an orange, entitled man with a white supremacy complex is about to run a nation to the ground.

So yes, that 'preference' is political. If someone doesn't date a whole subset of men because of their ethnicity or their skin color, it's time for them to check their privilege and look at why is it that they are not enjoying men for being men (the first commandment of homosexuality) and just picking and choosing what feels more comfortable to their status quo. And if at the end of the day they discover that they enjoy fucking only within their race, at least there'll be some awareness of why is it that they do it.

Cheers!

xoxo