GGG

GGG could be my favorite acronym. Here, Dan (who's really looking yummy, btw) and Amp discuss kink discordance, but I think this applies to non-kinksters too. Being Good, Game and Giving is a must in any relationship: be it a hookup or something long term, having someone who can do that for you should be a must.

And I know that being good in bed is something totally subjective. What's good for the goose is sometimes not good for the other goose. But people definitely can (and should) be good in bed. Being good in bed should not have to do with being able to complete the feats that men in porn achieve. That has more to do with camera work and skillful editing than with actual stamina or sexual prowess.

Being good in bed means being into the person you’re with. Being good in bed means taking them into account. I don't think being good in bed implies going over the Kama-Sutra every time you get together or going at it for six hours. Being good in bed is making them feel good by being present. There's nothing like being fucked by someone who really wants to fuck you.

Game. Well, being game is being willing to try something that they have told you they want to try even if that specific act has not crossed your mind or even if it you have never considered doing it. Being game is being open minded. So what if licking his balls is not something you'd thought about? You've seen it done, and now he wants to try it. So go ahead, try it. It's not like he's asking you to try body suspension or erotic asphyxiation. Those may need additional prep and a lot of negotiation. But something simple? Go ahead. There's not much to lose by trying something new. You may even like it. And if you don't? You move on and try something else. The success or failure of an encounter has nothing to do with you two. It has to do with the act.

Now, about giving. Giving as well as receiving. And you don't have to be Vers to do this. But if you both are, kudos! Giving and receiving affection and care is something that should be an essential part of every relationship, sexual or not. And letting someone fuck you (even if it's for the night) it's a form of relationship. Giving attention and expecting to receive it should be something that comes with the package. He's with you for the same reason you're with him: he cares. So why not give him that extra little bit that sets him apart from other people in your life and on the process, and making sure you let him know?

I know. It's all easier said than done, but he knows you care. After all, you're sleeping together and Grindr be damned, finding someone you want to sleep with on the regular is not that easy.

xoxo