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look the part

"To look a certain way you've got to sacrifice certain things. And part of that is... pleasure. You have to eat a certain amount of food, a certain time of day. When I eat, I'm so looking forward to eating. Halfway through the meal, I start getting depressed because the meal is gonna be over soon. And I'm still hungry..."

There are some parts of me that I don't like. I sometimes think 'I wonder how I'd look if I lifted weights'. Only thing is, I don't like lifting weights. Weights intimidate me. I feel awkward and clumsy at a gym. I can run a block or two, I can get on the elliptical, I may even risk lifting some dumbbells. But lifting weights seriously, I think I could never really do it. Trust me, I've tried it.

I was a not an athletic kid. Like the boy in the video, I was basically skinny all through primary school. I didn't really gain weight until I was basically in college. Aging out of your teens I guess has advantages? And I was still not what you consider 'fit'. So in my mind I'm still that awkward kid. I will never have muscles. My body still feels slightly awkward. Isn't that weird how we are seldom happy with the bodies we have? Or when we aren't, we just do as Luke in that video did and radically change it to fit the idea of ourselves we have in our heads? Even when it costs us other pleasures and it needs constant work?

I think we all carry these images of ourselves with us, like it or not. And in the meantime, we are constantly bombarded by images of impossibly beautiful men who imprint in our minds some kind of ideal that is basically unattainable. Nobody can be that perfect just by being. Being that beautiful requires inordinate amounts of time and effort. Oh, and money. And very few of us have much of those to spare. Nobody wakes up looking like a male model. Even male models are groomed to look like they just woke up. Oh, you didn't know that?

But of course it's not like we all go through life looking like Michelangelo's David from the moment we become aware of our bodies. Those blessed by genetics and a good disposition towards athletics are in a small group. And they work hard to stay in that group. I think the rest of us learn to live with the bodies we have and work with them. We learn we cannot wear certain clothes (you will never see me wearing a wife beater. Ever!) and we learn that we have limitations when it comes to fitness (I can do intervals in the elliptical or run/walk a little but that's about it) and we know what our good side is when taking a picture (never do a selfie with the phone anywhere below your nose). And that's that.

So yeah. We will never be like the models we see everywhere, smizing and looking intense. And we should not forget that THAT is their JOB. They NEED to look like that. And that does not come easy. There's nary an ice cream in their future and pizza is forever verboten. Also, there's a ton of pushups and crunches and sweating and running involved in those chests and abs. I know that. But I still struggle, though. Yes, Steve, the grass is always greener. I still don't walk around shirtless during Pride. I know I should get a gym membership or make more time to do intervals. I still feel awkward when trying new clothes. Especially when I go to H&M and I realize the slim fit pants I really, really want to get need to be a size or two bigger or I will never, ever get my ass in them. Darn!



  1. Body image is something that I've always struggled with. Ever since I can remember I have always been on the heavy side. And this was difficult for me...my four older brothers were all into sports. Hell one even became a physical education teacher..

    I, on the other hand never, really gravitated to sports. I was more of a homebody. And I love to eat. But I also know that carrying too much weight isn't good for me. Back in 2013 I joined Weight Watchers for the second time. I was getting older and didn't want to invite in all of the complications that being overweight can lead to. So I worked the program. Being in the gym is not something that appeals to me. So I would walk or ride my bike. Having dogs, they like to walk so it was a perfect fit.

    Would I like to have a toned, rock hard body? Fuck yeah!. Do I want to put in all of the work? Fuck no! I've got better things to do. So I worked the WW program and reached my goal of losing 65 pounds. Still not toned, but I'm happier with my weight.

    I've found that I can be happy with who I am without worrying about how I look. If other's don't like how I look that's not my problem. They can just keep walking by. I know that a lot of people struggle with body image and it is a real concern for them. I hope one day they can find peace in being who they are and love themselves for it.

    And babe, you look fine as fuck to me. 😘

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

  2. I think nearly everyone would admit to having something about their body that they don't like. It's just that we all see someone in good shape, nice face, whatever, and think they have it all. They don't.
    We're all struggling and we admit it then we're all in it together.

  3. so I'm a senior fat white str8 girl. I DON'T CARE! yes, I DO lift weights to help with my arthritis and it does me good. but I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. I ain't no model, that's fer damn sure; I like to eat!

  4. I used to be thin and had not problem with body image, but in my late 30's poundage started creeping on, and I got... shy. That lasted till I got laid off from International Paper, that's when I started getting back in shape. Sometimes I'm very successful, and sometimes not. That's life. The only thing I really don't like about myself is my ears - too big. If I ever get rich I'm going to buy a smaller pair.

  5. I look like Rosie O'Donnell in jeans

  6. I was a Twink (skinny and scrawny) and could eat candy bars all day and never gain an ounce. I've never lost that trait even at my advanced age. Now, hair on the other hand.....

  7. While I anita no model, I dont hate myself my body either. I do a exercise routine at home four days a week from a friend, and do run around the lake. Still wish I was more built, but not gonna happen. Thankfully I have a high metabolism. And I do wear skinny Jean's but I need more ass. A friend says all the bugle is in the front, not the back. Lol,lol

  8. It is helpful to remember that photos are often re-touched, and models' entire lives are dedicated to their looks. They don't have jobs like the rest of us. I used to wish I were more athletic, more handsome, more muscular. But now that I'm in my mid-50s and married for 20+ years, I have less motivation to work out and restrict my diet of all the things I love. You'll never EVER see my shirtless at Pride. To be happy with our bodies I think we must adopt a balanced outlook. Not everyone is cut out to be a lawyer, doctor, or engineer. Not everyone is cut out to be a singer, actor, or director. Not everyone is cut out to be a model. And that's OK.


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