Here’s that tea.



Well, they say there’s a shoe for every foot and in the world of dating, nothing’s more true. Take for example these two: a trans man and a ‘femme’ guy (and I out femme in quotations because that’s absolutely subjective). They swap Grindr profiles and mayhem ensues.

They talk about the very pervasive 'straight-passing' mystique that's very pervasive in the hookup and dating apps. Gender expression is something that scares many men. Being a trans man or a cis male that is not easily 'identified' as 'straight-acting' is apparently something that does not go well in the hookup apps. When they ask 'joe on the street' about dating for example, a trans man, somebody answers that he would not. That they prefer straight men: they conflate being straight with masculinity. Now, if you are gay, why would you want to date straight men? Wouldn't being straight rule any man as unattainable by definition? Hence lays the crux of the masculine-starved.

Take the trans man, for example, who says that he waits to be approached by someone to interact. And when he is approached many times he is fetishized for being a trans man and they tell him that they want to 'try him out'. Can you imagine someone trying you out? Like you're an exotic lemon flavor? Like your  masculinity is measured by your dick? Don't they know that trans men can actually CHOOSE the size of their dick? Literally? They can go out and buy a dick. By the inch.

Some men who are interviewed here though, say that sure, they'd date a trans man (and by default a 'femme' guy?). And that them doing so would depend on the man they're attracted to at the moment? What I understand is that some men fetishize being a 'man'. They actually gender actions and things that are really not gendered. For example, to me, the 'fem' guy seems kind of garden variety 'gay'. He's no lumberjack, but is really a purse falling off his mouth every ten seconds? And he's THICC! They equate the 'straight-conforming' with 'desirable'. Not all of us can or want to look and sound like a construction worker. As the one guy in the video say: 'seeking masculinity is an effeminate quality'.

I've never thought of it that way but...Damn! That's some tea.



XOXO

Comments

  1. I've always belieeved there are all kinds of gays and all kinds of people attracted to all kinds of gays.
    I have a type,and it's my type,so I would never denigrate someone for their type.
    I'm also appalled someone would want tp "try out"a trans male. If you're attracted to the person, go for it, but don't use people like a used car lot, and just go for the ride ...unless you're both into that.

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    Replies
    1. I was too. It stank of privilege and carelessness. I understand the purpose of hookup apps is to get off, so they should stick to that, not proselytize in the name of the church of dumbassery.

      Delete
  2. I have to agree with Bob. You don’t go for a test drive. Find someone you’re attracted to. These guys are putting everything in their profiles. If you don’t like what you see, move on. Snide or denigrating comments are not needed. There’s more to a person than what’s between their legs.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh but have you met the gays on Grindr? Oh yes, you have.

      Delete
  3. The funny thing is that I've known really fem guys who look like... construction workers. They open their mouths and you're like... 'where the hell did that come from?" As Bob said, it takes all kinds.

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    Replies
    1. Indeed! Same here. The Masc for Masc crowd is a riot.

      Delete
  4. I'm attracted to whom I'm attracted too and that's all I know. I like all types.

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    Replies
    1. Am doing that’s why you’re so awesome, Maddie 😍

      Delete
  5. Living in a large gay town, I only feel that the trans people on this video are .05 percent of what the rest of trans people look like. They are poor, homeless and of all ages. I have a trans woman helping me with things I can no longer do around the house and she does everything she can for money to get her medication. She tells me of only shopping at the Dollar Store and then heating food up at a 7/11 in a microwave. No one will employ her. So that part isn't rosey.

    Now, one of my two most rememberable sexual encounters was with a six foot curly blond haired construction worker! Oh My...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG that’s so awesome, Jimmy! That’s really nice of you. And yes, trans people are still treated like trash in many places.
      About that memorable encounter... when are we gonna read about it? Soon? Pretty please? 😉

      Delete
  6. I remember before the internet was widely used for dating gays used to post personal ads in the gay newspaper. Many in the 90s said "straight looking, straight acting" as a way of weeding out femmes. But I always thought 'why would I want a gay guy who acts straight?' While we've come far enough to not see/hear those phrases anymore, we obviously have farther yet to go.

    ReplyDelete

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