“I ended up taking testosterone. I thought maybe I needed a little help to get that muscle on, to be the man that can attract men because apparently someone thought I wasn’t. And it was hard. It was one of the worst things, if not the worst thing, I’ve ever done to myself. My body was a wreck, I felt horrible every day, I broke out everywhere, on my arms, on my stomach, I wasn’t myself. And beyond the chemical reactions that were happening in my body, I just wasn’t happy.”
Yeah. That has happened. When a stranger comes up to you and tells you that yo are not 'man enough' to be in a gay bar. In a fucking gay bar!! The gall.
But Jason's experience is nothing new. Femmephobia, as the author of the article puts it, it's alive and kicking, especially among gay men. Not to mention sizeism. It seems we are always looking outwardly, trying to find things that really do not have to do with somebody's essence. The appearance of a person really does not tell much about who they ARE. Some of the most attractive men I've known have been absolutely vacuous and as interesting as cooling oatmeal. Don't get me wrong, some very attractive men are absolutely interesting and intelligent. Beauty does not preclude brains. But it is not always the case.
We, as gay men are sometimes absolutely superficial and use physical appearance to choose partners but also, to measure ourselves against a bar that will most probably not leave us in good standing. Just a thought.