beard

One of the best things we can do in times of high stress is humor. And with Cheeto as president, these are stressful times. So this video made me laugh out loud. Of course, for humor to be effective, it always has to have a pinch of reality in it to really make it work. And this is a perfect example of what happens when a very attractive man jumps in the midst of many gay men. You see, we have trapped ourselves in a cul de sac because we've decided that what we 'like' is one thing and one thing only. We've been brainwashed into thinking there's one and only one way to be 'gay' (and I don't mean happy). As Tio Walter writes, we have been conditioned to be a certain way by society and lead to believe that there's one way to play, one way to mate, one way to... be. And we have assigned value points to a taxonomy that prizes 'masculinity' (or the perception we have of it) over anything else.

I agree some men are just... men? Imagine your manfriend, who manages to do nothing to fit the image we have of a garden variety man and nevertheless, he fits it to a T. He seems oblivious of many of those things you'd think gay men do or care about. Nevertheless, he enjoys men very much, and when you are together, you do things that gay men do. But you also have friends that are like you, as camp as a John Waters movie and as 'gay' as some people think gay is: hair, and clothes and campy tv shows and divas and the works. We are all part of the LGBTQ umbrella, and we should consider them all part of the world we have created for ourselves.

The one thing I find troubling with the taxonomy we've created in gay life is that at the same time that it allows us to belong to a tribe and find our identity and our peers, it limits us. The creation of categories and classes within a sub-group will lead to some kind of fuckery most times. With all these sub-divisions and classifications and taxonomies and types and sub-groups the only thing we achieve is to make ourselves feel... lonely?

Of course you may laugh as a maniac while watching the video but I cannot help but think that as with all good parody, they hit the nail in the head. As quickly as we are found to be attractive to a group, we are found to lack that 'one' thing that immediately disqualifies us. We can go from it boy to no way at the speed of light. Trust me, it's happened.

So let's just chill. And the next time we decide to categorize someone let's first relax. It's not that serious. It's just sex appeal. Right?

XOXO