Ten across the board

So there. I would give myself a ten. Or a six. It depends on you talking about the scale here or if your'e talking about the Kinsey one. I have always been the guy with his nose in a book, not into sports, kinda smaller and into movies and plays. Kinda geeky. Lately I have apparently developed some kind of style that other people find salient but that for me, it's just practical. And I like either big, baggy jeans or tight 501's. The thing is, though, that we are sometimes too obsessed about 'how' gay we and other people are or appear to be. And that may take the fun out of meeting other men or getting to know them. Because getting to know a man is part of the fun and going but the most obvious traits sometimes takes that fun away. Some drag queens I've known are total tops. Some big, burly jock types are absolute bottoms. So why do we categorize men as 'gay' or 'not gay'? if not for mating purposes? Maybe because it make US feel better?

I have to admit that I don't think I have a strong gaydar. I sometimes overlook the obvious and simply chalk it up to style and metrosexuality run amok. So I am going to categorize the men in the video according to my own gaydar. Here we go:

• One: yes, ten. Because yes. Especially when he talks. And those shorts. He's fab, though.
• Two: One. Really. He's just another guy. Probably into comic books and super heroes but he does not read gay to me.
• Three: Three. He does not spell out 'gay' to me. Nails painted? Half of my classroom has nails painted. And I like the beard.
• Four: One? I cannot see the gay there. He may be fun, but not gay to me. It may be the muscles. Muscles tend to throw my gaydar off.
• Five: One. He does not look like a gay man to me. He's only been out for a couple years, too. And as he said, he'd trained himself to 'look' like that. It's a conscious defense mechanism for some men.
• Six: Two? Not even with 'the little fox' thing. He's cute though. 
• Seven: One. He would not look or sound or anything gay to me. At all.
• Eight: Ten. Because he looks like the idea I have o a twink. Love the jeans. 

This was an exercise I actually enjoyed! On the one side, I realized that I usually don't pay much attention to subtle clues in men. Maybe that's why I never know if they are flirting with me. I usually think that they are just being nice. Or social. I tend to go for the most obvious traits (fashion, style) than by minor clues like speech or nods to camp or body type. I also think that training has something to do with it: I hav been to so many seminaries and workshops on diversity and multiculturalism that I seem to have lost that idea of categorizing. Some of the most straight men I know would read gay in any other setting: they are super fun, they get movie, music and pop culture references and have a very twisted sense of humor.

So how about you? Are you a One? A Five? A Ten? And if you are a girl, What would you be as a gay man? Go ahead, tell me. I've got time.

XOXO