My former boss told me to sound less gay. At that moment it felt just like being back in the school playground with the bullies. I left the job and amplified my "gay" voice to support and inspire LGBTQ+ youth around the world with my book and documentaries.
But really. what is it sounding 'gay'?
"But what about sounding gay? Unlike speech patterns tied to ethnicity, class, or education, it’s not something I picked up automatically since I didn’t really know any gay people growing up. For me at least—and I’m certainly not going to speak for everyone—I sound gay in the same way that I dress like a dork. That is, research in sociolinguistics and linguistic anthropology has found that the way we use language—especially the small variations in things like pronunciation, word choice, how much we do or don’t interrupt someone, etc.—can be as much a part of how we form our social identities as the clothes we wear or the music we listen to."
Some speech patterns tell the listener that we 'belong' to their group, but apparently sounding 'gay' is stigmatized within the fucking gay community! The nerve. I, for one, don't mind a man sounding gay. So what? I think I sound gay. of course regional accents override anything else, but in the pecking order of the gay community the masc for masc crowd really have decided it's not ok to sound 'gay'. Maybe it's because the idea they have of the man that they want to fuck is fixed in their brains? A man for them has to sound 'like a man' and that's it? Do they have a checklist of sound in their head that they have to go through every time they decide they want to fuck someone and if does not check all the boxes it's a no-go?
Sounding 'gay', from my point of view, shouldn't be stigmatized. Why should it be? It's not like it detracts from the man? Is that it? That someone who sounds 'gay' is less-than? Oh. I see. Did you know that once he's sucking your dick it won't matter? If it ruins the fantasy, then I would say it's more on you than on him. Oh, I know the power that a deep, Rocco Steele voice has. That kind of deep, resonant voice does have power. But someone like Riyadhk really doesn't sound THAT gay to me. And it would not 'ruin' anything. But that's just me.
So the next time someone speaks and you immediately think: 'GAY!' check yourself. Stop for a second and think what is it that makes you think that that man is gay. Or that he 'sounds' gay. You may be in for a surprise.