Double Date




The idea of socializing with other gay men is something that occurs mostly in a context tied to bars or clubs. And that's fun. Going to bars and clubs is part of the fun of being an adult. The only thing is, not drinking much and the fact that I'm used to going to bed early (I'm usually in bed by nine thirty and asleep by ten in a school night) do not make me the ideal candidate for wild nights in town. I know. I'm boring.

But I'd be all for going on double dates. When we get to sit with other gay men and talk about things both light and important, we both establish friendship ties and reinforce our sense of community. We grow up without many examples of what a gay couple is. Nowadays there's more and more famous gay couples that offer an example of what being in a same sex relationship/ marriage is, but that has not always been the case.

I think that in this day and age, when we receive attacks saying that we could be discriminated against in our jobs and the government may reaffirm that notion, we need more than ever to have a sense of community. Why leave the socializing only to bars and clubs when we can also have fun in restaurants and coffee shops? I, for one, am all for having good conversations across a table while having delicious food.

So what if we institute a new rule and go out more to dinner or just coffee? What about brunches on the weekend? And we should also go out in double dates or with friends who are in relationships. It may be good to see more gay relationships up close and personal. That way we'd do what straight people have done for thousands of years: learn what we want and what we don't want in a relationship. Besides, double dates are fun. I think we should do them more often.

XOXO

Comments

  1. We go out a lot with our Around-The-Way=Gays, David and Neal, and we socialize a lot with other gay couples. I like that sense of community, and showing that presence in public.
    No matter what happens, we're not going anywhere.

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    Replies
    1. I agree! Showing up is always necessary. Straight people need to see that gay people exist and should be in public spaces. One of the notions that old white men like Cheeto have is that gay men should know their place: in the shadows.

      XoXo

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  2. I'm in!
    Love Sunday brunches, walks around gardens, and road trips to nowhere.
    Just let me know when and where and I'm there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would marry you Walter, but I already promised Steven!!!!! Maybe we can be a throple.

      Delete
    2. Don’t tempt me Walter!
      And at this pace it’s gonna be more like a commune, Maddie! ­čĄú . We could rope Steve and Walter in and have fun!

      XoXo

      Delete
  3. That's what we lesbians do! Not necessarily "double dates" per se, but we get together and socialize quite a bit within our circle of lesbian friends.

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    Replies
    1. I have noticed that. Girls tend to socialize more outside of the usual venues and I think that, like Bob says, creates more of a sense of community, of belonging.

      XoXo

      Delete
  4. When around the clan and I around 12 of us always do brunch. I've met many prospect s also to date. The Lad and I also have done double dates. Even though we are not exclusive. When on vacation we did a double date and that couple wanted to swing. Normally we might have, buy we hadn't seen each other in some time and wanted me time. Its healthy to have a close knit clan...that you can trust.

    I wish I could be more like you on school nights. But I have been and I fear will always be a night owl.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It also rises a question, how many couples socialize or welcome single friends in their circles???? I have several couple friends who don't mind me and always include me. But I know some couples who only hang with only couples in fear of temptations. Wonder what the thoughts of others is?

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    2. Haha I just can’t bring myself to go out and stay late during the week. I’m a zombie in the morning! I’ve gone out for brunch with friends, though and it’s super fun. And you are right, sometimes, there’s this thing that single or unpaired men are not really involved in these outings and it’s mostly couples. Silly. If a man’s gonna stray, he’s gonna stray.

      XoXo

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  5. I think doing a double date would be a great way for friends/potential friends to celebrate life and explore each other. And i think it would allow couples to possibly learn more about each other.

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    Replies
    1. I think so too! We should do it more, bae.

      XoXo

      Delete
  6. Double dating would be great. I'm not a bar person, never have been, except during the 5 years I was with the Central Pa Pride Festival. A month after I resigned I stopped going to bars. And all those friends I made during those 5 years only wanted to socialize with the bar crowd. We need more social outlets than bars.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same. I find bars full of smokers, and smokers and way too loud to actually have a convo. Funny those friends stuck to socializing mostly in bars when the Pride Festival is basically taking the gay out of the bar!

      XoXo

      Delete

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