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A word







The pronouns we use describe our identity, they don't define it. 

I read that somewhere in the internet and I believe it's a pretty accurate explanation for those who still do not understand that some people are non-binary. I know. For some cisgender people, especially those who perfectly conform to what is considered being male or female (masc for masc gays, I'm looking at you) the idea of using 'they' as a pronoun is somehow daunting.

And it should not be. When Merriman-Webster announced the use of 'they' for nonbinary people there was a stir in the interwebs. You had the usual transphobic idiots whining about 'that 0.01%' of the population and the such. I was thrilled. Then when it was declared the word of the year, the masses cried in desperation. I sat down and rolled my eyes.

You see, I am one of those people who really enjoy reading things written using grammar correctly. You can imagine my disdain when I read that letter that Cheeto wrote to Nancy Pelosi. I should not have been surprised. As if the leader of the most powerful nation on earth could write anything coherent. Or use correct grammar. But I digress. Back to the use of They.

Of course not everybody who is non-binary prefers They as a pronoun. But I think that when Merriman-Webster declares They their word of the year, there is a huge amount of validation and a path to understanding that some people do not (and sometimes cannot not) fit in the neat little boxes we sometimes build for people to sit in. Not everybody presents as conventionally male or conventionally female. Some people are androgynous and/or present as non-binary and they deserve all the respect the butchest of the masc Grindr dudes get. 

Fuck conventionality. Thank you, Merriman-Webster, for making They your word of the year. Maybe now we will get some people to be more aware that not everybody needs to be like them, that not everybody fits in a definition that is binary and limiting and that not everybody needs to conform to what other people perceive as the rule.

XOXO

Comments

  1. I’m of a generation that grew up with she/her, he/him. Back then the masses knew nothing else. But I’m also of a long lost generation that showed respect. And ultimately how we address people comes down to respect. I was reading an article, I think it was in the Chicago Tribune, and as I was reading I noticed that they referred to an individual as “they.” I thought how cool is that. And we see it on Twitter bios and we hear about it from other sources where people are putting their pronouns out there in their introductions.

    So, it may take me a little while to get on board, and I mean no disrespect if I stumble, but I’ll do my damndest to try to address people as they deserve.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, it’s more and more common. We are very used to the binary but it’s a step in the right direction when big publications do follow.

      XoXo

      Delete
  2. "Maybe now we will get some people to be more aware that not everybody needs to be like them, that not everybody fits in a definition that is binary and limiting and that not everybody needs to conform to what other people perceive as the rule." - THIS! I admit I prefer she and her, but that applies only to me. and I wish the religious freaks would apply this same logic to their twisted minds; not everyone "believes" in an invisible sky daddy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Correct! We choose our pronouns. The xtianists don’t have logic, AnneMarie, remember?
      Haha. Sky daddy!

      XoXo

      Delete
  3. I didn't read THAT letter, but I did read that wind quote and he sounds like an illiterate child. But enough about him, howsabout that good news?

    I know some folks find they and them hard when speaking of a singular person, but what does it hurt anyone to be nice and call people as they'd like to be called? We are not all the same but we'd all like to be treated with respect as to how we see ourselves and how we identify.

    This makes me happy. Thank you Merriam-Webster!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! Being recognized by Merriman-Webster gives people respite. Really. What is it so difficult about addressing people the way they want to be addressed?

      XoXo

      Delete
  4. A really positive, forward-thinking development!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is, indeed! It seems small, but every step towards equality matters.

      XoXo

      Delete
  5. Like Hunter, I'm from the generation which grew up with he/she and his (him)/her; they/them used strictly for plural. As a grammar nazi (yes, I'll cop to ti), it's tough for me to refer to a singular person as "they." But, you know what? The world changes and we must be willing to change with it or risk becoming obsolete. - like 45rpm vinyl and 8-track tapes. :-)

    Thus far, I haven't met anyone preferring they/them. When I do, I'm sure I will slip but it will be unintentional and I will make the effort because it would bother me to be referred to incorrectly. It really is a matter of respect for the indiviual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But it’s the intention what matters! Asking someone what pronouns they prefer is a courtesy. Slipping when using them is absolutely forgivable.
      XoXo

      Delete

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