who do you think you are?
I think that everybody should be able to decide how they identify. Sgàire talks about people being confused when they hear ‘I’m trans’ or ‘I’m non-binary’ or 'gender-non-conforming'. And it is because we are all so stuck on defining things in a very either/or way. It's our bad. We are all ever-evolving, ever-changing people and fixating on gender -that like sexuality- could be placed on a continuum, is not very reasonable.
You see, I've been around queer individuals for a long time. When I was still in high school I used to hang out with the outsiders and the queer kids. There was never a question of 'if' it was more a question of 'when'. Same in college. I have known trans folks forever. At the beginning it was just the kids who were transgressive/artistic/different because they wore what they wanted but later it was full-on gender non-comformity. It's never been a big deal for me. Non-conforming to gender norms should not be as threatening to people as it is.
But I can understand why someone would find Sgàire unusual. When someone goes above and beyond the binary, they become their own category. Even if they are doing drag (there's several drag artists who identify as gender non-conforming or gender neutral, btw). People usually need the comfort of the familiar, that bland alignment with a picket fence and Main Street that has the same soothing effect of lukewarm, unsweetened oatmeal. It may feed you, but does it taste good?
And I'm all for flavor. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to people who do not conform, people who are fiercely themselves. I know it's difficult sometimes for those not accustomed to dealing with the non familiar (or the non-binary, in this case) to just take things at face value. Also, many people were raised in households where gender roles and attitudes were firmly established from a very early age and have never known or being exposed to anything different. Somebody walking around in a baby doll dress with hyperreal eyes and more akin to a porcelain doll than to a girl may not be an everyday occurrence for them.
But why the reticence? Why is it that so many people are so reluctant to just accept others for what they are? I've always wondered why.
XOXO
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Those IG pics are quite unusual. I believe in 2020. and the following years, there's no need to define yourself if you don't want to. It's not important and, it's a whole new world! 🧡💜
ReplyDeleteHer drag is not fishy, but I found her IG pics to be more towards a more conventional approach to beauty, though. And you know that it's not her who's defining herself but the world around her...
DeleteXOXO
Accept people as they are. It' that simple.
ReplyDeleteWhat does it hurt to use 'they' and 'them.? The people who can't are the same ones who called Chaz Bono 'she' for years, or Caitlyn Jenner 'he'.
Who does it hurt to use they, the, she, he, when talking about people who may identify differently thn yourself.
Oh, Deadnaming and misgendering Trans people is a national sport for some people. Really. They hold on to their outmoded ways with fierce intensity.
DeleteXOXO
I've seen this person before. But what amazes me is the amount of talent and vision of character to realize this look. I have a lot of respect for 'face-beaters' starting with the late Kevyn Aucoin.
ReplyDeleteI thought her talent with make up is incredible. Painting for back of the room is not an easy feat, considering we cannot see ourselves from afar. There's also the explanation for her clothes that left me surprised.
DeleteBTW, did yo watch the Kevin Aucoin documentary currently streaming? He was fucking genius!
XOXO
I love those big anime eyes!
ReplyDeleteHer makeup is so incredibly detailed! The illusion is complete. Very talented.
DeleteXOXO
It's interesting that, as youngsters, we lean toward wanting to be like everyone else (whatever that was at the time) - to be liked, to be accepted into the group. Then something changes within us - we begin to discover ourselves and, if we aren't afraid, we begin to express that. If it's accepted or if it's belittled we can change our behavior in different ways - we can rebel and go over the top, we can ignore and stay on the rails, or we can go back to hiding, being like the "norm of society."
ReplyDeleteI think some people would find it easier to accept if the standard "labels" remained; it's a matter of the new 'descriptions' or terms we're hearing. But, maybe that's just me; I hate labels. :-D xoxo
I think it's part of the socialization we go through in school and in our early years that lead to that search for acceptance. Some people are just not wired that way. They're themselves from a very early age and do not conform to the 'rules'. That's when they represent a problem for the rest of the people, who decide to make their lives miserable.
DeleteThe keeping of the status quo is a solution for the inflexible, of course. Not for the person who does not fit established norms: they know who they are, it's the rest who refuse to recognize it...
XOXO
As I accept myself more and get comfortable with my sexuality more, I find that I am more accepting of other people's differences as well. I was not comfortable at all with gender bending but I understand now it was my problem and not their problem. I also did not realize that they were compelled to be this way because that's who "they" are. I thought they were doing it to be controversial. Now I don't care how other people think of them, I don't worry that people will see me as a freak because of the way "they" look or dress, I just want them to be happy in their own skin.
ReplyDeleteOMG Steven. That's hitting the nail on the head. It's us who react when we cannot understand ourselves or our reactions to others, not them. Trust me, nobody wants to be 'controversial' and risk their lives on an almost daily basis just because they want to be themselves. There's some people who we will never understand, but that's our problem, not theirs...
DeleteXOXO
If we were all the same, and marched to the same drummer, this would be one incredibly boring world.
ReplyDeleteI was invited to go to my friends campsite this weekend for the memorial. Just three of us. I plan to show up in mask, my gloves, wig, and lipstick and lashes. While keeping the 6ft rule in play.
Preach!
DeleteThat expectancy that everybody needs to conform is just so tired! If everybody were to look the same, life would be so absolutely boring!
And you'll have to document this glamping. I need to see this Quarantine Realness look!
XOXO
Scary
ReplyDeleteHahaha
DeleteOh John. I'm convinced you have seen truly scary things...
XOXO
I think the real problem is there are certain individuals who use gender simply to make a statement. I can think of several individuals who use certain pronouns simply because they want the attention.
ReplyDeleteOh, but gender IS a statement. The second you put on your dinosaur socks you're telling the world you're a boy. It's how we express ourselves. And that expression is the problem. The attention is given to them. That attention has also killed many a trans person.
DeleteXOXO
The people who have a problem with the way people are living their best lives ARE the problem. Now a days you see people blatantly breaking “wear a mask” orders claiming it violates their rights. These are the same people who scream and shout about gender non-conforming individuals.
ReplyDeleteAs long as someone is not causing harm, or potentially causing harm, they have a right to live their lives as they see fit. Not wearing a mask can potentially cause me harm. Get a fucking life.
XOXO 👨❤️💋👨
Ha! Yes, I agree. The people who have the problem ARE the problem. They are the ones that go out of the way to tell others how they should express their gender (because, of course, they now BETTER).
DeleteSuch a crock of shit. A fucking life is what they should get.
XOXO