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Dress me up


I was deciding what to wear on NYE and was torn between a pink and a black hoodie. I decided on this extra-large black hoodie with Billie Eilish on the back to wear with white slim pants (I don't care if it's winter. I wanted to wear that hoodie with my new shoes so, white pants it was) and I heard something along the lines of 'that's a huge hoodie, it looks like a dress'. It had never crossed my mind, but the damn hoodie is huge (I love it) and it goes down my thigh. So it could absolutely be a dress? But it is super comfy, warm and it looked dope. So I wore it. And it didn't kill me. But the comment stayed with me. I definitely think we need to talk about 'girl's clothes' and 'boy's clothes'. What is considered verboten from one to wear? Are there really limits? Yeah, because we sometimes get stuck in that’s for ‘boys’ and what’s for ‘girls’. After all, we were brought up in the binary and there’s no escaping that fact. We all grew up with the idea that there’s clothes (and things) for boys and for girls, specifically. But there's always two sides to a coin.

Initially, the people who wore high heels were aristocrats, both men and women. Thackeray, writing of Louis XIV, described “the little lean, shriveled, paunchy old man, of five feet two,” gaining eight inches with a towering wig on top and high heels below. The well-turned leg was a masculine thing, shown off by knee breeches.

MATTHEWWILLS

So many of the garments and colors that are considered 'masculine' today were not considered so centuries (and even years) ago. Have you taken a look at what people wore in the seventies? Do you remember when men wore jeans that actually fitted well? Hello, 1985. I also think most men (especially gay men) get trapped in the binary question of 'is this for me?' and 'will this make me look gay'? Because many men actually think that being 'manly' has to do with their bodies not being put on display and by the choosing of certain colors and cuts considered 'masculine'. I think that for some men, the choosing of clothes usually becomes an exercise on denial. And there lies the problem.  A problem of poor self-esteem and toxic masculinity, exacerbated by the need to conform. Talk about drama.



For years, I've heard girls swearing by men's jeans: they're comfy, they fit right at the hip, have leg room, pockets, and are slimming. And these are things that many girls like. And what did designers do? They created the 'boyfriend look': jeans that are marketed to girls but cut like men's jeans. Oh, the thought acrobatics. On the other side, I think that girl's clothes are much cooler, much more stylish and definitely more fashionable. I've been known to wear girl's skinny jeans. For awhile there were no men's jeans with some give in them. Don't get me wrong, I have five pairs of Levi's (button and zipper fly) and I love them to death. But they require some wrangling. And for my Doc Martens, I like the look tight jeans give at the calf while not letting the world know my religion (skinny jeans do tend to accentuate the package and the ass, alas... ) So girl's jeans it was. And I really like them. Lately, I have found that Zara actually has the perfect size for me (31/32, European, medium rise) so I've moved on to their jeans, but I still wear my 'girl' jeans. And I will do it until I'm too fat to fit in them. Fuck conventionality.

I also wear some colors that men don't usually wear: purple, blush pink and apple green. I wear them in ties, bow ties and socks, because as men, we 'accessorize' with ties and jackets, and in the 'professional' environment where I work (until the pandemic hit) it was kind of fitting to wear them. I was still wearing those jeans once or twice a week, mind you, because it's always good to give people a preview of what they won't have *evil laugh* You know how I'm always up to no good, even at work. But looking back I did conform to a 'masculine' dress code: sport coats and ties, not to mention combat boots. I'd like to think I give 'butch queen first time at the ball' vibes but if I don't, I hope I still send a message to the queer people that are seeing me every day: IDGAF about preconceptions and I'm there to represent. In that order. 

So next time you see something you like don't ask yourself if it's too boyish/girlish and just go for what you like. Oh, I know. It has to be also 'age appropriate'. Who cares? You can be seventy and still rock a pair of well-cut jeans. Or a colorful Ben Sherman and some Van's. You may discover that your disgruntled-caveman-looking-for-sasquatch-look goes fantastically well with that new piece of clothing you never knew you'd rock? Yeah, cool socks and underwear also count. Come on, you know you wanna...

Also, I've learned that pink was not always ‘girly'. Who knew?


Happy dressing up!

XOXO

P.S. I think the Dems are gonna keep the Senate! Woot, Woot!

Comments

  1. The routine things in life, need not be boring, socks, undies. Wear what looks good, feels good, makes you smile. One of my favorite poemshttps://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/warning/ And I am getting old enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool socks and undies rule.
      And that poem is fantastic!! Purple is one of my fav colors, after all.

      XOXO

      Delete
  2. At my age,...the only fashionable/trendy clothing I can get away with wearing, is underwear. So underneath my geriatric attire, I've got on 'Nasty Pig' and 'Pump'.

    I'll bet you're adorable in skinny jeans!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pump and nasty pig!?!?! If I get to Florida again i need to meet you!

      Delete
    2. and dripping with Gun Oil.

      Delete
    3. Hahaha
      I do try to rock those skinny jeans!
      And Nasty Pig has the coolest undies/socks EVER!
      Ohhh gun oil, huh?

      XOXO

      Delete
  3. I wear what I like and sometimes I got the 'Hmmm" look from people but I just assume they have no style and are jealous. It's clothing; wear what you like!!

    Oh, and YASSSSSSSSS Blue!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha!
      Of course they have no style and are jealous. People with literally no taste are the ones that have the loudest opinions on everything.
      Blue rocks.

      XOXO

      Delete
  4. For centuries purples were seen as royal colors, blues as calming colors , and pinks and reds as aggressive, war-like colors. Oh, while everybody liked Ike, Mamie was considered to be a real bitch..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Purple is awesome.
      And to think that it was Mamie who literally made pink a girly color!!

      XOXO

      Delete
  5. If I can buy a basic wardrobe item in the mens-wear department, I do. Men's clothes are cheaper and better made than women's clothes, hands down. And yes, some items, like pants, do just fit me better. I've had to deal with some bigoted salespeople over the years, but fuck 'em. I just pull a Karen and demand to see their manager. Money talks and I'm there to spend and if they don't want my money, I'll take my business elsewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So much truth.
      I've always believed it when people talk about a Pink Tax: most of the things women use/wear are more expensive. And I CANNOT believe somebody would dare give an opinion on what you're buying. I look salespeople right in the eye and tell them I like girl's clothes. IDGAF about what they think. It's my money.
      Ohhh I would love to see you pull a Karen!

      XOXO

      Delete
  6. I wear what ever the he'll i want and if people don't like it they don't have to look. I'm a huge skinny jeans boy .....much more comfortable and since I'm thinner it helps to make me appear taller. And I love pink!!!!!! To pink is actually one color almost every man look great in BTW. I have pink buttons downs, tees, pants, underwear and one hat.

    On Nye....it was I and three close friends that are in my bubble. We all dressed up. I wore painted on black skinny jeans with button flys...a black dress shirt and black bow tie...and combat boots!!! I entered wearing my Christmas gift from Warbucks.....a fitted army green wool coat, with a huge faux fur lapel. It's by a designer named Reiss. I LOVE their clothing...so me. My one smart ass friend told me I should wear it like the first whore, Melania!!!!!! Said he thought it looked like something she'd wear. But dear.....trust me...I wore it better then that bitch. I think he was just jel .....when the coat came off and he saw my ass in all its bubble glory from all my walks and runs, that quickly changed the conversation to how I'm keeping my ass and self in shape in this pandemic. And this is the ex porn star who said this. Meeeeeow ! He asked also if I'd wear the coat to say a Home Depot or the like....Hell yes!!!!! The coat is gorgeous! I don't care what Marc men think. And it's warm as he'll. So if the clothes fit and one looks good. Who cares if there male or female. I also didn't hear any complaints the next morning when we came down for bunch and I was in my onsie thermal union suit...unbuttoned half way down. A house of gay boys is fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are so on the same page it's uncanny.
      Maybe that's why we get along so well LOL. If we lived in the same city, there'd be socially distant KiKis regularly!

      I applaud you for not giving in to the pressure of the 'Are You Wearing That?' crowd. Of course we are wearing 'that'! Duh. It's what I was writing about that keeps gay men subdued to the patriarchy. Fuck that.

      All that clothes need to do is to fit. And that we like them. And now I think I need to get me a onesie thermal union suit.

      XOXO

      Delete
  7. https://www.westknits.com
    I admire this guy and his use of color and his "I don't give a shit" attitude. I will be knitting several of his designs this year. wear what you feel and feel what you wear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG Anne Marie!
      He's absolutely fab. So creative!
      Love, love, LOVE the scarves!
      Wear what you feel and feel what you wear is my motto of the day.

      XOXO

      Delete
  8. Oh, fer cryin' out.... I wear what I wear. If it's comfortable, I'll wear it. That's why I was not unhappy to be done with all the fancy fundraisers - I put that tux in the closet where it gathers dust to this day. I'll stick to my 501s, TYVM. And my tshirts, or Henleys. Colors? Have I worn pink? Oh, hell, yeah. Pink shirts.
    It is really interesting how the feminine and masculine have swapped isn't it? It used to be that men were the ones to wear the eye makeup and the bright colors (kind of like it is in the some of the animal kingdom).
    Lastly? ..."'butch queen first time at the ball"... LOL! I love that line so much, I may steal it and use it in the series of novellas I'm writing. (Yes, you encouraged me, and I took the leap!) XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know right?
      It's all about US. WE are the ones wearing the clothes. BTW 501s are the best jeans. Hands down. And masculinity and femininity are arbitrary social constructs. I don't believe in them the same way I don't believe in the tooth fairy.
      And YAY! You're writing? Oh, Big you have got to let us know when you're done!!

      XOXO

      Delete
    2. I will absolutely tell you when the first one is ready. I have a publisher chomping at the bit for me to finish the set. Though, yesterday was a lost day. Couldn't focus on anything. Sadly, today will be another lost day. XOXO

      Delete
    3. Yay!
      Oh, Id' totally read it.
      And I feel you about yesterday. Such a terrible day. More than those four people died yesterday. The GOP's morals among them.

      XOXO

      Delete
  9. I have zero sense of fashion. I pretty much wear what I want. I wonder if people think I'm homeless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, bae.
      I believe some people think I got dressed in the dark. Ask me if I care.
      It's your style. It's Millenial Boho. It's the JM way. It is what it is.
      I have sometimes worn the weirdest combos ever. I pull them off (or at least I think I do) because it's what I was feeling at the moment.

      XOXO

      Delete
  10. Remember when men started carrying a “burse?” Shocking! As you I know, I’m not a fashionista. I have some clothes that may be older than dirt. I wear what is comfortable and what I like. And I love how you dress. You’re bold and proud of yourself, as you should be. I’ve always been on the larger side, so there weren’t many options for me.

    But one should wear whatever makes them happy. Makeup? Go for it. A jaunty pillbox hat? More power to you. A skirt? Shocking at one point, but go for it gurl.

    Be you and make YOU happy.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww bae.
      Thanks! And I do remember the burses. Now I'd kill for a Gucci crossbody for daily use.
      And I think you've got your style and that's enough. Comfy and we like it? On it goes.
      Now I want a skirt.

      XOXO

      Delete

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