Ice Breakers (one)

Following my tradition of stealing things from Upton at Wonderland Burlesque, here's my version of his version of Ice Breakers. I think we all should use these when we meet new people or when we want to see if the man we are eyeing is worth our time. Or we are worth his. What's good for the goose...

Here we go:

What is something someone could wear that would make you walk out on a date with them? 

I have no idea. Maybe dirty clothes? I cannot take unkept, smelly men. I don't have a set of rules when it comes to men having to wear this or that, I don't care if they're fashionable or not. Not really. I would not be mad if a man shows up to a date wearing dress pants and a jacket and tie, though. Even though I'm not a suit guy I can appreciate a pair of dress pants when they fit a man well. Come to think of it, I have never walked out on anybody. I think that would be awfully rude and uncalled for. It's not about the clothes, for me. I think it's more the personality that I focus on, in the early stages. But dirty clothes could be a no-no. Now, if he's a construction worker and comes straight from work because he just has to see me ....

The zombie apocalypse is coming, who are 3 people you want on your team?

OMG what? I have no idea. I most probably will have to have with me someone who knows how to work with his hands and someone who can problem solve on the spot? I'm useless with things like starting a fire and all those essential boy scout skills I've seldom practiced and I'm too fucking emotional to make decisions. Especially if it has to do with survival. I'd get eaten in twenty five minutes if I'm left to my own devices.

What’s the most embarrassing fashion trend you used to rock?

Oh my goddess. So very many. But even I have some things that I keep semi-secret. Between a pair of chunky Sketchers that I wore to death and my JNCO pants? I'd have to say the pants. Hahaha remember those JNCO pants that were super, super wide? I had SEVERAL of those. I had them in denim with stripes coming down the sides and in black and in navy blue. I wore them to raves with tiny Polo shirts or oversized T-shirts with Cartoon Network characters on them. Yep. Sorry not sorry.

What was the worst hairstyle you ever wore?

I have no idea? Oh, I've had so many terrible things done to my hair that I cannot even remember. But maybe the worst thing I did to my hair was to dye it a bright shade of orange, though. Think David Bowie orange. I hated that color and only had it for two days because I thought I looked like a fucking fire engine. My friends loved it -it was a mohawk, natch- but I loathed it. Maybe because in my head I had imagined it more like a bleached blond and in my eyes it just didn't look right? I don't know. The thing is that I loathed that hair color and ran to Giant Eagle to get some L'Oreal to tame it.

Who was your childhood actor/actress crush?

Ohh. Wow. I was more into books and comics, but I've always loved movies, so I think it may have been Christopher Reeves? For me, he embodied so many things: strength, patience, intelligence and sex-appeal. That suit! Those eyes! He WAS Superman. Wasn't he?

Have you ever been told you look like someone famous, who was it?

Nah, I have never been told I look like someone famous. Not ever. Really. 

 If you could bring back any fashion trend what would it be?

Ohhh hats. I love hats. I have many. I especially like to wear hats in winter because I don't like looking like a wet poodle when I come from the street. I also took the train for years and I really like it when I can keep my head warm and dry. Also, I love a man in a nice hat. Damn. There's something about a man who can wear a hat that gets me going. I especially love those hats called Porkpie? I think they're very flattering in most men. Fedoras? Few men can pull them off. One of the things I can't deal with, though, is with backwards baseball caps. Do frat boys know that we turn the cap backwards so we can give better blow jobs? Do they?

You have your own late night talk show, who do you invite as your first guest?

Barack Obama. I would love to sit down and talk to him, even if I had to prep for two weeks just to get the first five questions right. That man could talk circles around anybody. I think he's a great conversationalist and I'd love to make IMPOTUS look even more smarmy by comparison. I'm petty.

You have to sing karaoke, what song do you pick?

Like a Virgin. By Madonna. Fuck the patriarchy. Also, I have to confess it's the only song I have ever done at Karaoke. I lost a bet and I had to do a song on a Wednesday Karaoke night in a bar a long time ago. So I chose Like a Virgin. But because the bet didn't specify 'singing' I basically did a spoken word version of it. I may have done something right. Two men invited me to drinks after I finished. I think it was my tapping the mic with the palm of my hand when I said "can you hear my heartbeat *thud* *thud* for the very first time?". Goddess. that's why I stopped drinking Zima.


Sixties, Seventies, Eighties, or Nineties: Which decade do you love the most and why?

I think I like most of the music from the seventies like Upton, but I'll have to go with the eighties. Michael Jackson? Janet? Eurythmics? Culture Club? Crowded House? The Breakfast Club? Pretty in Pink? The Walkman, the DeLorean, Also, so many iconic TV programs. The eighties were excess and the end of gay lib. With the advent of AIDS the party was definitely over but the decade left an undeniable mark in many people. Even now I hear people say 'that's so 80's!' Don't believe me? Just watch Stranger Things.

And that's all for today. I have to go back to Wonderland Burlesque and find the second part so I can complete this whole Ice Breakers thing.

XOXO