Boys beware

It’s 2020, right? So why are gay men still demonized like it's 1961? I was thinking that people still use the old 'gay men are predators' excuse to justify their bias against gay men. Don't believe me? Just look at how James Charles was brought to a public flagging because it was suggested he was 'persuading' straight men to get down with him. Or how Alex Morse was suggested to have preyed on students from the institution where he worked in order to derail his political career. How's that for innuendo? That innuendo can still destroy lives as efficiently as it did when Boys Beware was filmed.

Lifestyle

noun

the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.

I think I've seen this Boys Beware short movie before, in some other context, of course. Or bits of it. But I cannot help but go back to it every time someone talks about Teh Gheyz and 'lifestyle'. You see, the term 'lifestyle' irks me to no end. Because when people talk about a 'lifestyle' they make it seem like a choice. Like I suddenly decided to go full Paleo with my diet. Or that I started training for a marathon. Or that I have started traveling around the country in an RV. Or that I go full Pentecostal. Those are lifestyle changes. A sexual orientation is not a lifestyle, it's a life. Not all gay people have the same habits, attitudes, tastes or moral standards. Let alone economic level. It is not a 'lifestyle'.

There's still people who believe that homsexuals are all like 'Ralph': a 'person that demands an intimate relationship with members of their own sex'. Or like 'The Stranger', who helped 'Mike' ride in the 'shadow of death'. Melodramatic? You bet. But with all the varnish of acceptance and the talk of equality we have forgotten how quickly the public opinion can flip when presented with a case in which the 'gay lifestyle' is discussed. And you know that IMPOTUS is gonna come for gay rights if he's not voted out. He already started.

I always tell straight people that it's not a lifestyle. It does not come and go, with the fade of the day. I always tell my friends that no, their mom did not throw them out because of their 'lifestyle'. She threw them out because she was a hateful cow brainwashed by religion and could not accept them for who they are. It's funny how we use the language used to oppress us to describe the oppression when we know it's not correct.

So when the next person you're talking to mentions your 'lifestyle', please make sure you correct them. After all, it's your life they're talking about.

XOXO