Go back in time

Show more

Boys beware



It’s 2020, right? So why are gay men still demonized like it's 1961? I was thinking that people still use the old 'gay men are predators' excuse to justify their bias against gay men. Don't believe me? Just look at how James Charles was brought to a public flagging because it was suggested he was 'persuading' straight men to get down with him. Or how Alex Morse was suggested to have preyed on students from the institution where he worked in order to derail his political career. How's that for innuendo? That innuendo can still destroy lives as efficiently as it did when Boys Beware was filmed.

Lifestyle
noun
the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.

I think I've seen this Boys Beware short movie before, in some other context, of course. Or bits of it. But I cannot help but go back to it every time someone talks about Teh Gheyz and 'lifestyle'. You see, the term 'lifestyle' irks me to no end. Because when people talk about a 'lifestyle' they make it seem like a choice. Like I suddenly decided to go full Paleo with my diet. Or that I started training for a marathon. Or that I have started traveling around the country in an RV. Or that I go full Pentecostal. Those are lifestyle changes. A sexual orientation is not a lifestyle, it's a life. Not all gay people have the same habits, attitudes, tastes or moral standards. Let alone economic level. It is not a 'lifestyle'.

There's still people who believe that homsexuals are all like 'Ralph': a 'person that demands an intimate relationship with members of their own sex'. Or like 'The Stranger', who helped 'Mike' ride in the 'shadow of death'. Melodramatic? You bet. But with all the varnish of acceptance and the talk of equality we have forgotten how quickly the public opinion can flip when presented with a case in which the 'gay lifestyle' is discussed. And you know that IMPOTUS is gonna come for gay rights if he's not voted out. He already started.

I always tell straight people that it's not a lifestyle. It does not come and go, with the fade of the day. I always tell my friends that no, their mom did not throw them out because of their 'lifestyle'. She threw them out because she was a hateful cow brainwashed by religion and could not accept them for who they are. It's funny how we use the language used to oppress us to describe the oppression when we know it's not correct.

So when the next person you're talking to mentions your 'lifestyle', please make sure you correct them. After all, it's your life they're talking about.

XOXO

Comments

  1. If you want to talk about a dangerous “lifestyle” then they have no further to look than their own conservative/religious backyard. Look at the hate that is the bedrock of that “lifestyle” right now. And it grows more hateful everyday. If there’s any group in need of an intervention, there it is.

    So the place to begin is with the ballot. Vote those fuckers out.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, they would not look at themselves. Self-reflection is not a conservative characteristic. They live in a world of denial.
      And yes, for voting! It's the only way to get rid of them.

      XOXO

      Delete
  2. I second huntley. for Black people, jim crow has never died, but increased his presence. FUCK ORGANIZED RELIGION!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes.
      Fuck organized the religion and the bigots that promote it.

      XOXO

      Delete
  3. My lifestyle is HOW I live, and gay is not HOW I live, it's who I am. But haters gotta dumb everything down to make it suitable to fit their bias.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And that's what some people don't understand. It's easier for them to just make a blanket statement, though. It's easier for them to hate that way, too.

      XOXO

      Delete
  4. When scrolling on the TV, I keep seeing more and more BoyScout sexual abuse infomercials. Franklin Graham needs to be put back in his hole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG yes!
      I was just thinking about that while bingeing on SVU. What gives?

      XOXO

      Delete
  5. My lifestyle? Elegant, simple, chic, and tasteful are words that come to mind. Nothing in Cloister Abbey was procured at Pier One (yuck!), Wayfair (shudder!), or Walmart (gag!). No, darling, refinement and elegance are never out of vogue – nor are manners, tolerance, and knowledge...something conservatives or the far-wrong people know anything about. My life and my style are my own; I don't need anyone's approval to live my life how I see fit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Conde.
      But you're fab. There's no more to add to that. But you are right, tolerance and knowledge are not the forte of the religulous wrong. They just want power to decide who's right and who's wrong.

      XOXO

      Delete
  6. I'm right there with you!!!!! I was lifted from the womb from a pool of glitter. I was gay from that point on. Im a gay man. My lifestyle just happens to be a over sexed minx!!!!

    It's all in the education!!! And don't get me started on all the terms and confusion when it comes to trans people. People ask some ignorant things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha Preach, Maddie!
      And you are right. It's all about education. That's why some people are so opposed to seeing run-of-the-mill LGBTQ stories. Because then we just become a neighbor or a cousin, or a parent. And that does not fit with their narrative.

      XOXO

      Delete
  7. Lifestyle has always been tied to where one lives and how much money one has. OMG! Was Robin Leach wrong all those years???? Yes, Lifestyle is about choices we make - and sexual orientation is not a choice.
    Next time a hetero person asks (or makes reference ) about the "choice" of LGBTQ "lifestyle," ask them "OMG! You mean your pecker stands up when you see a naked man, too?!?! How old were you when did you decided to live the hetero lifestyle?" xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely.
      And it should be clear that being LGBTQ is NOT a choice. It blows my mind when people does not seem to understand that. Or when people chooses NOT to understand that.

      XOXO

      Delete
  8. Amen. People are evolving. People are listening. We have to keep talking. We have to keep challenging those tired, old misconceptions. We define who we are and when we allow others to define ourselves as something else... something evil? We're doing, not only ourselves a great disservice, but our community as a whole. That's why we must leave no misconception unchallenged. That's not over sensitivity on our parts... that's survival. That's righting a wrong. That's self preservation. Thanks for sharing this. BTW - Once again, I couldn't get into your blog until just now... I started trying to get in at 5:00 am... so weird. Have a good one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have the same problem.

      Delete
    2. You are right.
      We have to keep challenging them and making sure that we talk the talk and walk the walk. We are not post-gay the same way that we are not post-racial. Homophobia and racism are alive and kicking.
      When we let people 'other' us we're working against ourselves.

      And I don't understand what's going on with my blog! I usually have to scroll up because I keep getting a blank page!

      XOXO

      Delete
  9. Lifestyle is definitely the wrong word. No one says straight people live a straight lifestyle. Evangelicals would flip out if you said the live a Christian lifestyle. They claim their religion is their life. It's so much bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, right?
      I have never asked a straight person when they decided to be straight. Evilgelicals DO live a lifestyle they've chosen, though. I have pointed that to some people and they've FLIPPED. I have enjoyed that.

      XOXO

      Delete
  10. Thanks for the education, Sixpence. As a middle-aged straight white guy from Idaho, I need all the help I can get trying to evolve so I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Mr. Shife
      If only all our allies were like you and Anne Marie...

      XOXO

      Delete

Post a Comment

Go ahead, give it to me.

Translate

Followers

Popular Posts

En otra lengua

Restricted to Adults

Restricted to Adults
Under 18? Beat it. Now.