Oh, Parma
I really like people who definitely do not give two fucks about what other people think. They are my he/sheroes. When Parma recounts the day he was walking into stores in a very conservative town and catching a glimpse of what he was wearing shook him so much he vowed never to look like that again I was immediately hooked. It takes balls. Wearing Khakis and a button-down is easy. Wearing whatever the hell we want to wear takes a spine.
I'm also all for fucking with gender and blurring the image people have of what needs to be a man or a woman. I also think that gay men, especifically, are so horrified of anything feminine that they recoil in a panic whenever someone who does not conform to binary notions of gender dares appear. You can almost feel the cringe. The absolute fear the masc 4 masc crowd has of anybody who would, even for a second, shatter the image they need to project of themselves is a threat they cannot stand. Straight men are not as worried of appearing straight as some gay men are. Isn't that ironic, Alanis?
In the video, we learn that Parma created his own club, Wraith, so he could meet people like him. DJs, artists and like-minded people who refused to exist just online found a place to get together and let their freak fly. That's awesome. I think I get the same vibe from him that I get from Siuxsie and the Banshees, from early Boy George, from early Pete Burns, and from the Sex Pistols in their heyday. It's all very Punk Rock. Because being Punk Rock is going against the establishment, and I'm all for it. And yes, I like what he’s wearing. Would I wear it all? I wish I could pull off the two feet tall Mohawk. And I don’t have the ass for that dress.
I love all of this. I love the impracticality of it all.
XOXO
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There was a time in my life that I would have said “What the heck did I just see?” But I’m at a point in my life where the response is more like “Well that’s different. Interesting, though.” Some of that evolution I owe to you, babe. You’ve broadened my horizons and expanded my experiences.
ReplyDeleteParma has a unique look with the big hair and all. I’m glad he’s been able to create a space for himself and like minded people. On the other hand, it’s a shame that he had to create that space. We need to be more accepting of those who express themselves differently.
Variety is the spice of life, right? Who likes plain white bread all the time?
XOXO 👨❤️💋👨
Well, if Parma goes to Trader Joe's with those boots, I'd stare. But I'd also think it's different.
DeleteAnd I think the 'evolution' you talk about is just lifelong learning. We learn things every day. Some people just don't like that.
And I think it's cool he created his own space. Sometimes we do have to carve our own niche.
XOXO
a very fantastic outfit
ReplyDeleteI have to say I'd wear the first one. No qualms.
DeleteThe second one? I wish I had the ass to show it off!!
XOXO
I am always drawn to people who don't follow the lead; they are, by far, the most interesting.
ReplyDeleteAnd I want THAT hair!
OMG same.
DeleteIt's a feat of engineering and hairspray.
XOXO
DAT ASS in the last pix! reminds me of maddie's ass. I don't give five fat flying fucks what anyone thinks of me, but I don't like calling attention to myself either.
ReplyDeleteHahaha I thought the same!
DeleteMaddie's badonkadonk is famous.
And I agree with you. The thing is, some people are JUST different. Some of us can blend in easily. Some of us can't and won't.
XOXO
That is one awesome mohawk.
ReplyDeleteEspecially in the second pic, when you can see it goes down his back?
DeleteYes!
XOXO
Like Huntley, I am no longer "shocked" by what I see people wearing. Now, I glance, shrug, and go my way. But, like anne marie, I don't want or need to draw that much attention to myself. Sometimes I think that's all it is about - grasping for attention, deliberately seeking those negative reactions in public from the "norm" of society. So I say, if that's your thing - do it. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWell, Big, at this point in life...
DeleteI do the same. I have stared at some things, because sometimes the context does not help. Would I stare at Parma while looking for veggies at a Farmer's Market? You betcha. Would I stare at him while in a club? Probably wondering where he got those pants...
And I think that going against the grain is what makes this so punk rock. It's not conforming and doing it while looking fab. What's not to like?
XOXO
I'd say we're in agreement. Coming up with a style that truly represent that you're free from other people's standards is difficult. Most people never achieve it. But it's worth trying.
ReplyDeleteYes!
DeleteI don't think it's only the lookatme-ism. It's declaring independence from other people's standards what makes somebody stick out and look like they're looking for attention. It's just that their expression is different to what others have established at the norm.
I think Parma has achieved that.
XOXO
It may be shocking, but when I did drag on a regular basis, I remember going into a Sheetz which is like a convivence store like Turkey Hill, Wawa or a Rutters one night in Camp Hill where I live at the time. The town can be conservative and liberal, but after a show then clubbing, we were hungry so drove to Camp Hill to get subs. The gay were worried, "Your not going in there in full drag are you?" I was like yeah why? Believe it or not the gays had more issue than the straights!!!!! I also used to go to the Eat and Park in full drag to, which was always intresting. But the gasps always cam for the butch gay men. Fuck em! Kudo to Parma!!!!! I say. You may have just inspired a post for me.
ReplyDeleteIt does not surprise me. At all.
DeleteGay men usually take more issue with the unconventional because -and this is speculation- some gay men just don't want to be scrutinized. Their gayness is their burden and they don't want the added strain of being looked at and judged. Some people (you, me, Parma) usually don't go by society's standards and can withstand the scrutiny. That's what the straights see: we don't give a fuck. Therefore, they don't give a fuck. It's kind of simple.
XOXO
You nailed it in the second paragraph, my dear. Gay culture wants to sell us the idea that we must all be gym bunnies and CEO's. Fuck that. And you nailed Parma's vibe in your last paragraph. Very creative. Very beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI know!
DeleteThe thing is, we are not all gym bunnies or CEOs. Not everybody needs to look the same and do the same things. I think Parna uses creativity and gender bending to express himself and I think that's fantastic.
If everybody looked the same it would be sooooo boring!
XOXO
Two hours to do hair. Holy shit snacks.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool that he created his own club for like-minded folks.
We need more places like that so people know that they are not alone.
Hahaha
DeleteYes, I know. It's a little extreme. Even for me. And I spend fifteen minutes in MY hair.
His creating his own space with like-minded friends reminded me of writing on this blog and finding all of you, guys.
It's good to feel we are not alone, screaming at the void...
XOXO
Interesting, but then I don't try to understand everything.
ReplyDeleteWhich is the wisest approach?
DeleteWhy should we understand everything and everybody's motivation?
People just ARE.
XOXO