Oh, Laramie

Twenty-two years ago we were shaken by the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard. Twenty-two years ago yesterday he was attacked in Laramie, Wyoming in an anti-gay hate crime that shook the nation. He died six days after from his injuries. Matthew was twenty-two years old.

When the news hit, we were shaken to the core. Our GSA at WVU was in tears most of the six days. We were mostly first-year and freshly landed grad students, totally green, coming to terms with college life and everything seemed new and exciting. Matthew's killing shook us to the core because it made us feel vulnerable, and frail, and powerless. I am glad we actually had a network of people at that time that helped us understand the depth of the hatred people can feel for someone who is different. Up to that moment it had been only the occasional shouts of 'faggot!' (or 'faggyt'! if you speak West Virginia English) when we were leaving the gay bar at two in the morning, shout from a passing car full of frat boys looking for a blow job.

But this was different. Matthew's death hit very close to home. He was also a college student. He was also in a college town. Until that moment, we had thought we were protected by the varnish of equity that permeates college life: everybody was equal. He had to deal with the same assholes we dealt with coming from the club on Friday night, but he was protected, right? By the rules of higher ed. But we were wrong. Matthew's killing made bigotry, hatred and homophobia tangible in a way that scared us all. It was the killing that launched the one and a thousand hate crimes legislations, but it was also the crime that made us think about our own fragility. 

He showed us how very unstable our position was. He was beaten and tied to a fence. Left to die a lonely death. Even now, twenty-two years after his death, I feel shaken typing this. The cruelty was obvious. The crassness unimaginable. The disregard for a life plain and simple. For some people, LGBTQ people are not human. That's what religion has taught them. And we still see it. We see it in the never ending deaths of Trans people at the hands of bigots and zealots. 

Matthew would have been 44 in December. Funny how time flies but stays fixed, no? Matthew should be alive. The same way that so many gay, lesbian and trans kids should be alive right now. Their empty, baseless, utterly sad deaths are a reminder that we all have to keep fighting for our rights. Not only for ourselves, but for future generations. Many kids who are twenty today do not know who Matthew Shepard was. They only benefit from the laws that his killing put in place. Laws that could be erased by the appointment of a new zealot to SCOTUS: Amy Coney Barret. Don't believe me? Don't sit too comfortably. Alito and Edwards are coming for your gay marriage already.

So, Matthew Shepard. He should be alive. But instead, he'll forever be twenty-two. A fixed reminder that the fight for equality never ends. 

XOXO