In Their Own Words
Big Dick Energy:confidence without cockiness. it is never misplaced and it cannot be simulated. it is the sexual equivalent of writing a check for $10k knowing you got it in the bank account. UD
Usually when I hear what men who consider themselves 'masculine' think about gender presentation and masculinity, I usually chuckle to myself. Poor dears. Very, very few of of them will ever have BDE. They may have big dicks, but never the quiet confidence and self-assurance that a person with real BDE has. The Masc4Masc crowd mostly lacks what the people in this video have in spades: an energy that immediately shifts the dynamics in a room, a knowledge of themselves that transcends notions of who should do what.
One thing that must be clear is that BDE a dick does not require. Nope. Some of the people with less BDE I've ever met have had ten inchers that would put Rocco Steele to shame. It's not the facial hair or the deep voice or the manspreading. It is something that goes way beyond that (have you SEEN Casey Legler??? Hot DAMN!). BDE does not care about your perceptions of the gender binary, Mary. Masculinity as the Masc4Masc crowd puts it, is a socially constructed notion. Real masculinity has to do with empowerment, self-awareness and lack of apology for loving. That masculinity that some gay men search is demanded in males and abhorred in females. How 1950's of them. Ozzie and Harriet or nothing. I'm cackling in my little corner.
Any of the people on this video has much more masculine energy that anybody decrying the sissyfication of gay men will ever have. Some gay men would stick to their idea of what a man should be and it's always some mental construction imagined out of outmoded and cartoonish notions of what a man must be (Castro Clone, construction worker, Preppy WASP, leather daddy. Basically the Village People). And the thing is that the people in this video don't even TRY to have that. Masculine energy is something that cannot be contrived or created. Same as BDE. Quiet masculinity, I call it.
Anne Marie? BDE, of course.
Maddie in drag? BDE (well, you know what they say about that one...)
Rhianna? Definitely BDE
Gay men in apps decrying their own faggotry? No BDE. No matter how big THEIR dicks are.
So go ahead, watch the video and enjoy some utterly cool people (Meshell Ndegeocello, Roberta Colindrez, Jenny Shimizu, Lea Delaria!) talking about their lives and about things that many people never even think about, and realize how many other things make them special. I'd rather spend an evening with any of them than with an overgrown fuckboi who does not even know when to shut up. Cis Gay men who get masculinity by default and expect others to mimic it for their own deranged fantasies are silly, delusional fools. Because at the end of the day, they will still get hard at the thought of another man's hardness. And that, in the eyes of many people, makes THEM less of a man. And there's nothing they can do about it.
XOXO
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Hey! What's wrong with Ozzie and Harriet? They gave us Ricky, didn't they? LOL.
ReplyDeleteBDE - Dick size doesn't matter. I just have always had a wonderful respect for a man who carries himself with confidence without being a blowhard. When he speaks, it's with quiet authority - but he's never afraid to admit if he's wrong. He walks into a room and commands it - not by intentionally drawing or being the focus, but simply by "being." XOXO
Haha Ozzie and Harriet is the GOP distilled.
DeleteA person who is confident without being a dick is fantastic. Very few achieve that. Especially men with big dicks. Their little head always takes over.
Being is enough for them.
XOXO
I might tend to think that BDE is covering up for shortcomings elsewhere. Those who can, do; those who can't, overcompensate.
ReplyDeleteBDE requires self- reflection and self-awareness. A person with BDE would have to know what their shortcomings are (they KNOW they have that money in the bank, they don't have to tell everybody they HAVE it). You are talking about men with big dicks who overcompensate because all their have is... a big dick. That's all they are.
DeleteXOXOX
What a lovely video. It took me a minute to get my footing... but that's the power of brainwashing for ya! And generational nonsense. The people - they're all very beautiful. And I love that they had this opportunity to share. Hopefully it will lead to more collaborations. I think this sort of thing challenges us all to examine our formerly deep held concepts about masculinity and femininity and release them into the air... for that's all they are... air. Puffery. Energy is either good or bad. Any thing else assigned to it? That's opinion. That's bias. That's brainwashing. Thanks for this one, dear. You keep me on my toes and learning. I appreciate all that you share. Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteIt's sometimes disconcerting to be faced with something we don't see every day. I thought the video showed something with which we are not very familiar. The concepts we have of what's to be masculine and what's to be feminine have been constructed through years and years of relentless indoctrination.
DeleteThe energy these people bring to a room is tangible. We cannot deny that.
XOXO
Can I say how much I love Lea DeLaria's style?!?!?! I would wear those glasses. Oh wait. I already do!!!!! I still don't get the whole masculinity thing. I feel more fem some days, some days I don't. I've been told I don't look fem. But some masculine friends say I hung with to many woman and girls when younger and learned my fem side and that's false. I had way many more males I hung with, including my father and his friends. I think some people are more brave to show both sides, and its a rare gift... and I embrace both sides. It a good tool. It places you in the shoes of others to see how they see things. And I said it once and say it again, in our community when fights or riots break out, the big masculine are the first to run with their tails between their legs.
ReplyDeleteI remember years ago walking back to out friend house in Philly when two guys were harassing us. Of course, I got mouthy right back and started for them and they ran. We noticed our friend was gone and two blocks up already. We thanked him for his big masculine support and leaving us there. I'll just say that didn't sit well with him, and he didn't like being called or having his butch-ness called out. And yes when in Rehoboth Beach we often hang with lesbians like this...they are a fucking hoot.
Lea is super cool!
DeleteAnd that's why I think yo have BDE: you are able to channel both energies and feel confident with either. You are not bottled up in one. Some people call it having a personality. The most masculine men I know (and I have known many, many men) can channel their feelings and know themselves very well (that has nothing to do with dick size, BTW).
Your example speaks volumes.
XOXO
Butches are SO HAWT! Loved watching this video, thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteOh, they are.
DeleteThere's a stealthy power in them that I find fascinating. I feel exactly the same way with some men.
XOXO
BDE is pretty awesome. I don't have it literally or figuratively. Maybe in the next life.
ReplyDeleteIt is awesome.
DeleteAnd you never know. Some people do not know they have BDE because they can't gauge the effect they have in others. They're aware of themselves but do not really focus on others as their means to confirm their assets.
XOXO
I'm going to agree with Bob.
ReplyDeleteHeh.
DeleteOf course you would. I think Bob and you have some... commonalities.
Maybe you should re-read the definition. I think you did not understand it the first time.
XOXO
Their confidence and how they handle themselves speaks volumes. It’s not a learned presence, it’s inherent in their DNA.
ReplyDeleteXOXO 👨❤️💋👨
Oh, totally.
DeleteThey really don't have to SAY much. It's all in the being. And you kind of nailed it: BDE cannot be learned and it cannot be demanded. Either people have it or not.
XOXO
Security without arrogance, then! Well done and well said. Security, the one that spreads light and charm, is not measured by the proportions of the cock or by arrogance. Arrogance, if anything, is a symptom of insecurity and weakness! Do you really need to amplify your masculinity with toxic attitudes? it's because you feel weak and insecure.
ReplyDeleteAnd then, who said that having a big and long cock can be a reason for joy and happiness? even a normal cock is enough to be and make people happy with you. Also because, if there are people who would insert the universe into their rectum, including fire extinguishers, there are other people who - like I do - do not like anal sex and want nothing in their ass. And who fucks only if they are asked for it. So a huge cock, I personally wouldn't know what to do with it.
I would have to agree: self-assurance and charm without arrogance or toxic attitudes. That sounds about right.
DeleteAs we saw, masculinity can be amplified (or enhanced) without toxic attitudes. It comes from within and has nothing to do with cock (or cock size). I can appreciate big dicks, though. But I agree: an average dick does the job just fine.
XOXO
it also depends on what the cock you need! Do you need it to deep throat or to insert the equivalent of a fire extinguishers in your ass? It is possible then that a single dick not enough for you, but that you need two, for a double penetration. It also depends on what sensitivity one has in the anus: if one has a great sensitivity, he will try to enjoy there, with cock or other sexual toy, or perhaps with a courgette or a can of beer. But for those with low sensitivity there, the large size means very little!
DeleteYeah, some men seem to enjoy a lot of dick. I think big sizes are good to look at but they're tricky to enjoy in bed. It takes a minute to get used to a big dick when doing anal and they are not the best to deepthroat if they're very hard. Size Queens usually go for the big ones.
DeleteXOXO