Le trou

 

PAULMCCARTHY

JEFFKOONS

Fellow blogger @Ulysse had a very interesting post about anal. Well, the blog is called hornyboys, so it's not out of character for him to have posts dedicated to the kind of sex he enjoys. What stood out for me, was that his post (I'm assuming the blogger is a boy, because of course I am) is called 'In praise of the Asshole'. And very few people write about that from a more... academic point of view? So I had to go and read it because of course I had to.

The thing is, not all gay men think about anal sex. For what I know, not all gay men like anal. Even though you'd think it's the sexual practice that mostly comes to mind when some people talk about homosexuality, it does not define the orientation per se. Homosexuality has to do with more than just the sexual behaviour, it deals with the emotional and romantic attraction, but you know that some people would never stop at that. Some people are reductive by nature. I know, I know, straight people also like anal, but given that this is a queer blog, I'm going to talk about what I know: anal sex between men. And Ulysse chose two very telling quotes to drive his point, well, home:

"Everyone knows that we can take pleasure in 'there' but everyone denies it. Nothing justifies anal pleasure. Unproductive, without social utility, it is considered a shameful vice. Which enhances its sulphurous appeal."

"Universal, naughty, playful, the asshole does not take itself seriously. The phallus has served for too long as a symbolic scepter in human society. It is worn out. The asshole is presented as an alternative symbolic guarantee of equality, of non-aggression and humor. A prism through which to look at things differently. A wind of hope for the world. "

His quotes come from an article written about Isabelle Simon, who wrote the book Traité du Trou du Cul, in which she talks about how according to her research, anal has become the next frontier. And she may be right. Anal has become a topic of conversation among the gaytterati. I've had the discussion with some friends (we do Thirty Thursdays on Google Meet) and it can get heated. Everybody's got an opinion about anal. Knowing that some gay men do not really practice anal sex (some prefer oral, or frottage, or mutual masturbation, or no sex at all, because not all gay men are exactly the same) I have always maintained that many are willing to indulge their partner's desires if prompted. Being Good, Game and Giving and all, you know. For some, doing anal has become more than just an act. Full disclaimer: I think anal sex is the bomb. With the right partner, there's nothing like a good fuck. Getting pressed like the news by a man who knows what he's doing is fantastic. And I'm not alone thinking that, thank you very much.

But there's detractors, as Mme Simon points out:

The taboo is twofold: it is linked to excrement, a taboo imposed from the learning of toilet in early childhood, and homosexuality, punishable by social exclusion in almost all human societies. In the head, the function of excretion is never dissociated from the anus, even when it is taken as a sexual organ. The asshole brings dirt back into the marital bed, where the sacralization of the maternal function more or less succeeded in making genital gymnastics a sacred duty. Everyone knows that we can have fun 'there' but everyone denies it. 

As the author points out, nothing justifies anal pleasure. It's not for procreation and it's linked by many to bodily functions. Anal sex is pleasure for pleasure's sake. And that's what makes the bigots so mad: men have anal just because they can. And because it feels amazing when done right and that's not what religion wants. Religion always looks to restrain pleasure and it is totally opposed to any kind of enjoyment that cannot be regulated. Oh, the magic of the prostate! And you know the Religulous abhor anything that's not restrainable or coded. We know that most of the prohibitions, admonitions and shame surrounding anal sex comes from religion, especially the Abrahamic ones, being Christianism and Islamism the most virulent. Add to that the fact that anal is considered by many as role play, I think that many men see anal sex as the ultimate power trip. Thinking of sex as power, it makes some people incapable of enjoying it. They see anal as an extension of the binary and refuse to think about something that for them is degrading because their notion of masculinity is tied to the idea they have about what people do in bed. Those are the people who discover one day, to their utter surprise, that Lesbians exist.

But Mme Simon tells us people cannot escape the asshole:

"It turns out to be a central subject around which all human things revolve: from the highest to the lowest, from the most base to the most sacred. The asshole is a dialectic. It constitutes this common core of humanity, this intimate knot that cannot be untied between shame and pride."

And I'm just gonna leave this here, just like Ulysee did. Because when it comes to the confluence of shame and pride, anything can happen. Especially when dealing with sex.

XOXO

P.S. Now I want a copy of that Jeff Koons sculpture. I already have his balloon dog, so yeah.