Oh, Rothaniel

We all have our secrets. Big and small, we all have them. Not like you'd think I have them (I do) given my penchant for sharing too much information in this blog thingy here. You know what kind of men (and dick)  I like, you know what kind of music and clothes I like, you know my thoughts on race, sex, religion and politics, you even know how my mom looks like. And yet, I have secrets.

When I started watching Jerrod Carmichael's stand up comedy special (it's more like a sit-down comedy special because he's sitting down the duration of his set) I was aware that he was going to tell us a secret. I had surmised that much from the teaser Billboard had given me, but I was not ready for the detailed exploration that he does of family, masculinity and a life lived holding back.

Carmichael (who has other specials on HBO and apparently even had a sitcom) is new to me. And the first part of his special played to me like a straight-up stand up: the oversharing is punctuated by his sense of humor and the punchlines come smart and furious.  But his story is painfully familiar. He comes from a line of unrepentant womanizers, both his grandfathers and his father had several children out of wedlock. It's a sign of masculinity that many men carry both as a secret and as a badge of honor -go figure- and it sets the stage for the second part of the special: he has a secret, just like all those other men in his family. But contrary to those men, he has not have several women in his life: he's had several men. 

You see, Carmichael is gay, and this part of his special hones in one of the most difficult parts of his coming out: his mother's acceptance (or conditional acceptance) of his sexual orientation. And to me, his audience seems to take on the proxy role of his mother, who finds it difficult to reconcile her beliefs and his coming out as gay. Funny, how she could forgive his father for lying about cheating and having another family (and even lying about his name!) but cannot accept wholeheartedly that her son likes (white!!) men.

I really liked the special. I found Carmichael's naturalistic style downright charming and his delivery well aimed and unpretentious. The Meta part of the  stand up special is also telling: he's not standing, he's sitting (just like a very notorious comic: Bill Cosby, if you want to dig deeper into that one) and dismatels what it means to be a (gay) Black man with surgical precision. He's also leveling the terrain with the audience: he's closer to us, he even interacts with people sitting in that place (in what seems natural exchanges to me) and that is something I had not seen before. 

So if you have HBO (or have a friend who has it) make it a night and bring some popcorn. This is one special that deserves your time. And as a teaser, here is Carmichael's SNL opening talking about THAT slap and a call to heal the nation: 

And now, if you'd only tell me some of YOUR secrets...

XOXO