Alta Sartoria (or Scheherazade as a boy)

This show is so absolutely fabulous that even though I despise D&G and their positions on many things, I decided to show the runway. It's slightly orientalist in essence but it's the Mediterranean, so there’s that. It is also a show of incredibly detailed and painstakingly elaborated craftsmanship and it deserves to be recognized. Couture is couture because it is unique. It's also art. So there's that.

Ok, so picture this: we're having a fantastic get-together this summer in a  XV century castle on the Baltic seashore and this is what everybody is wearing. Ready?

Debra: I can see her in any of the tuxedos or suits (especially that pearl/gray one or the black/gold brocade one or the blue one with the wide lapels). Oh, I love a woman in a well-cut three piece suit.

Maddie: I can see Maddie in any of the bejeweled tops with the distressed jeans/palazzo pants. She's got the goodies for that. And she likes to have her tits out. Win/win.

Huntley: He's wearing the all-black ensemble with the see-through shirt. Yes. He's demure but we all know what's underneath...

Dave: the long embroidered purple smoking jacket, wide legged pants, no shirt and purple harem slip ons. You know he likes to look imposing. 

Jimmy: I think he'd rock that pink/flush number with the mid-length tunic and the pants. He's a pocket gay and pocket gays can be daring.

Big: He likes black but I think for this he'll be wearing that salmon number that does not button up at all. And all the jewelry, of course.

Bob: It's the purple, see-through number with the wide-leg pants and the shorts underneath. And pearls.

Cali-boi: Oh, the gladiator sandals with the gold chainmail shirt and those pants. *faints*

John: He's probably going to be in the white number with the wide-legged pants and the shirt. Love that clutch for him.

Xersex: Those bejeweled jeans and black jacket with gladiator sandals and open shirt. Yes.

Upton: The sleeveless white shirt with the bejeweled neck and the black and white pants. And those earrings, of course. 

Infidel: Bejeweled jacket, distressed jeans, headdress, harem slip-ons. He likes to be comfy.

J.M.: The lamé shorts with gladiator sandals and bejeweled tunic. Very basic in gold.

Mr. Shife: Oh, the knee-length pants and jacket with ankle gladiator sandals. He likes to be comfy.

Lurkie: I suspect he's gonna wear that black number with the cape at the end. I know, Edna says 'no capes', but this is a special occasion. And Lurkie can make an entrance.

And those are the usual suspects that are coming to the party. Now, what should I wear?? It’s gonna take me a minute. 

XOXO

P.S. if you want to be invited, just tell me what you'd like to wear. The guest list is open wide...