(DON'T) Have Sex Like a Porn Star

I like porn. I enjoy it several times a week, as a matter of fact. But one thing I have very clear is that real life sex is not like porn. And that porn is definitely not like real life sex. But it seems that many (many!) people don't seem to be able to understand that difference. Take for example a convo I just had with someone: they told me that one friend's relationship imploded because one of them thought sex had to be like porn. From the kissing to the pounding. Textbook PornHub. And this was not a young Gen Z guy trying to emulate the only thing he's watched on his screen. This man is in his late forties! He should know better, right? Wrong.

So yeah. I do admire what men do in porn, though. But you'd have to recognize that some of those positions and situations require incredible flexibility, great stamina, being in fantastical physical shape and having great muscle control and coordination and a partner just as fit and able. If that sounds like something you'd find in a job description for a Cirque du Soleil show, you may be right. The thing is, these men get paid to do what they do because what they do has very specific requirements. It's like asking me to do the Tour de France or swim the 100 Meters Butterfly in the Olympics. I'm woefully unqualified for those things. Porn is not real life. And real life does not need to resemble porn. 

I know I've said many times that Gay Porn Stars are just like us. But Gay Porn Stars are not like most of us in the sense that their bodies and actions are primed to be captured by a lens and be presented in such a way that titillation is multiplied tenfold. It's literally in their job description. Every angle in porn (even in amateur porn) is calculated to provide a fantastic view of the sex act we are witnessing. Even solo masturbation videos or those erotic muscle worship videos are filmed for maximum effect on the viewer. Porn is made to be watched, not practiced.

Oh, don't get me wrong. In real life, I do indeed enjoy being manhandled and tossed around a bed a little, but really, some of the things we see in porn are obviously carried out by men with great physical strength who are in top physical shape and those acts are done for the benefit of the camera. There's no way that your Average Joe would be able to do the things porn actors do on the screen on a daily basis. And if you know any Average Joe who can do that, I'd be more than interested in inviting him to have a cup of coffee, really. I'd love to chat him up and ask him some questions. For science.

 

Still, that conversation about the guy that used PornHub as a manual stayed with me, so this Davey Wavey video came up just at the right time (thank you, YouTube, you stalky creep). How can we, as a generation of gay men that has literally grown up with erotica at the tip of our fingers, learn to separate what is made to titillate and what we can expect from our real, flesh and blood partners? It's ridiculous that we would try to impose those absurd standards on anybody. Not everybody has those bodies. Not everybody has those dicks. Not everybody can do the things men in gay porn do. The impossible positions, the never ending boners, the theatrical moaning, the lack of foreplay, the Bel Ami kissing. It's preposterous! And this is just Gay Porn. Apparently straight porn is even worse. 

I guess I'm one of those garden variety gays who do not really care about acrobatics or prowess and is more focused on the man who's fucking him than on other accoutrements. Oh, I'd try a reverse cowboy, some rope play or fuck on the kitchen table or the rug every so often to give him a thrill, but that's about it. What can I say? I'm boring. Also, I can cum better doing it missionary style while we kiss (is there anything more vanilla than missionary? Even doggie or pirate bounty sound kinky! LOL). So any other permutations that may require more logistics than I'm willing to provide at the drop of a hat can take the spontaneity and hotness out of the equation. And being spontaneous and horny are the basics of good sex, right?  

So I think we should all just chill and enjoy porn for what it is: a creation made to titillate. No more and no less. It's not a fucking manual. Let's listen to the experts: it is really not necessary to go through the Kama-Sutra or practice The Egyptian to keep our men satisfied and that there's definitely a difference between gay porn sex and good gay sex. They should know. After all, apparently not even Porn Stars have sex in real life like Porn Stars...

XOXO