DARK ROOMS
I had to laugh when the transition slide in Patrick's video said Bathhouse Betty. It seems also quaint to talk about bathhouses in the era of Grindr and Growler and all that Jazz but I think it's important. One, because it is -like it or not- part of gay culture. In the seventies and eighties bathhouses were a symbol of sexual liberation and a staple in gay urban life. Two, because bathhouses were pivotal in the spread of AIDS and never really recovered from that blow.
So, having a gay man give us a tour of a bathhouse in 2022 sounds quite appropriate, or at least I think so. Who goes to a bathhouse, you'd wonder? And who goes to a Dark Room in a bathhouse? Well, someone who wants to have some fun. Duh. Patrick lists some reasons: to let go of inhibitions, to find freedom from judgment, to feel a sense of heightened senses (after all, it's dark) and add that you can play with whomever you want and remain anonymous and because people can explore kinks in a Dark Room. I think those are enough reasons. No?
Also, I had no idea how a Dark Room looked. Also, gloryholes and cabins? No idea. I've seen gloryholes in porn (duh!) but I had never seen a practical application to them. As in, in real life (porn is not real life, kids!) so they suddenly make sense to me. The cabins look like they would be good for one on one play or for multitasking. The possibilities are apparently endless. And the little red flashlight? Love! So practical.
Now, who would go to a Dark Room? Practically anybody. Darkness, is after all, the greater equalizer. And you can get the newbie who's totally curious or the regular who goes to a bathhouse to be in the Dark Room. Why not? That's their thing. And Patrick recommends standing outside of the Dark Room and if you see somebody you really like, well, you follow him in. Sounds like a plan?
I liked that he clarified that it's really not a free for all. It can be a one-on-one experience or it can (and I bet it would) become an all-out orgy if the mood is right, but for what I saw, there's order to the apparent chaos that is the Dark Room. Also, the furniture! (because that's furniture, Mary!). Very interesting, as Dave would say. I am curious as to the logistics of not stumbling over those, because they are covered in black leather and painted black in a Dark Room, but I imagine there could be more light where the furniture is and it would make sense if they cater to exhibitionists and voyeurs. Duh.
So there it is. Dark Rooms explained. I think we all should talk more about things like this. It's not everybody's cup of tea (the only thing that everybody likes is a $100 bill, right?) but I feel that going to a bathhouse should be de-stigmatized and de-mythified. After all, it's just sex.
XOXO
P.S. now, on to the serious part: I don't know if you've heard of the hard turn the whole MonkeyPox epidemic is taking. It started slowly but now it's in the US and it is spreading. And it it affecting men who have sex with men at alarming rates. Does it sound familiar?
Thankfully, there's people who are tirelessly working to bring information to the masses, like @doctorcarlton, a Mayo clinic graduate and Board Certified M.D. who has posted an incredible array of resources and information on his instagram (instagram being useful! I know, groundbreaking).
So, if you go to a Bathhouse, please be mindful. Play safely. And get vaccinated!!
"Love @dansavage!
It's getting serious, guys!
Bathhouses? Never had any desire. Not even curious about anonymous sex. As for Monkeypox? Excruciatingly painful, but not necessarily fatal. So, you have a choice, keep your dick in your pants until you get vaccinated, or prove how weak you are by continuing to have anonymous sex.
ReplyDeleteRight.
DeleteI am also kind of squeamish about anonymous sex, but I have wondered about bathhouses. And apparently Monkeypox is indeed painful. Especially when the lesions appear inside the person. One thing though: it's not ONLY transmitted through sex. That's a misconception and it is wrong. It's a new infection, but they have discovered there are other means of contagium. Someone could give it to their significant other or to someone close to them after catching it on the train, for example. No sex needed.
XOXO
Wilton Manors (where we live) is the epicenter of Monkey Pox in Florida. The Pride Center can not keep up with the # of shots requested. Meanwhile, Death Santis has never mentioned the issue and is now telling educators to disregard Federal Law for LGBT protection.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jimmy!
DeleteBut Death Santis will not do anything. He killed thousands of Floridians (who probably voted for him) and hundreds of tourists with COVID because of his inaction and greed. Don't wait for him to even mention Monkeypox. Remember, he's doing a test drive to run as a replacement of Cheeto. Hatred, homophobia, xenophobia and white grievance are his platforms.
XOXO
HuntleyBiGuy:
ReplyDeleteI do have some curiosity about the bathhouses, kind of a fantasy thing really. Have never been and in my advanced years, may not have the chance to go. But, never say never.
Regarding monkey pox, I’m seeing more posts on Twitter. It’s really becoming scary and people are not taking it seriously. Be careful out there, know who you’re connecting with.
XOXO 👨🏼❤️💋👨🏽
Same.
DeleteAnd for what Patrick says, I don't think there's an age restriction at bathhouses (it's over 21, so you qualify). And twitter did give me that impression: people are not taking it seriously because they think it's a 'gay' thing and politicians like Marjory three names are using it to smear gay people. Not surprising.
XOXO
Big says,
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Steamworks was still in business. Huh, go figure. Back in the days before HIV it was Continental Baths...seemed they had places in every big city. Never went in one of them.
Monkeypox and on the subway with exposed skin rashes? What a flippin' dumbass. I hope people noticed and stayed away from him. XOXO
Oh, I think there's one in Chicago!
DeleteIt's become a hub for the MonkeyPox vaccine and they are, according to Dr. Carlton's updates, doing a good job providing it. Good for them. And you know that straight people will dismiss MonkeyPox as a 'gay' disease and then spread it like crazy. If it becomes a problem for straight people maybe they'll pay attention.
XOXO
Not my thing, not even back in the day.
ReplyDeleteOh, I can imagine.
DeleteA whole generation of gay men survived The Plague because they did not go to the baths. That's a fact. Same as why we lost so many men to AIDS back in the day. Like beer, bathhouses are an acquired taste.
XOXO
I can't lie....i used to be a huge Bathhouse Betty. Especially in the 90s I have been to many in huge cities. I could literally get off on the europhia that sexual encounters would give....and had many a time in glory holes..once with three holes to suck three different dicks. The apps never killed going to bathhouses for me...I would still go and have but not nearly so much any more...since I have a couple FWB'S now. But I eill par take of the meat rack, the dick dock or the Pavilion when in FI, Ptown or the Woods Campground.
ReplyDeleteI also consider myself EXTREMELY LUCKY and fortunate to have never caught a STD or the like. But I can't lie...bathhouses and sex clubs are very fun. And there our culture.
And there's nothing wrong with being a Bathhouse Betty (love the name!).
DeleteAnd I can believe the energy you'd find in a bathhouse is something that can only be found there. It's sex on a stick.
And yes, you were very lucky because you never caught anything. It's one of the things that kind of stays in the back of my head when I've pondered the idea of visiting one. And yes, they're pretty much part of gay culture. There's no equivalent in straight culture to a bathhouse.
XOXO
Love me a nice bathhouse. Or a decaying one. They are all fun. All have their charms. Dark rooms, though. No. It is a blackout. And... I am not okay with not seeing the mouth or ass or dick I am playing with. Period. That's not fun. Of course, you could end up with someone way outta your league on a downward turn, being a slut... but more likely you get a pimply, fat azz who has not bathed in a week. So... no. Not playing in the darkness. That's why I love the prairie. It is all out there to take a look at. As for monkeypox - of course it affects gays more than straights. We be having all the fun all the time... sex, sex, sex... that said... we have 33 cases in Minneapolis (that are known) - but I am on the outlook. Yes, baby better start turning 'em down! Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteI think bathhouses are super interesting.
DeleteI went to Man's Country here in Chi when they were going to tear it down. I wanted to buy something, a memento of the time it was open, but it was all gone by the time we toured it.
And I feel like you about a Dark Room. I would need a flashlight, and not just the cute one Patrick has. I need to see the man, really. I don't like surprises...
XOXO
Bathhouse Betty is Bette Midler's old nickname.... btw.
ReplyDeleteHahaha
DeleteOMG didn't put it together! Of course Bette and Barry used to entertain the boys at the baths!!
XOXO