The Problem
One of the things I don't agree with is just putting everybody in a box. It's reductive and not productive. And you know that like the proverbial belly button, everybody has an opinion about porn and porn stars and they have put them in a box because it's easy. But not all porn stars are the same. And not all porn is the same. But people refuse to reconsider their notions because they fit THEIR biases. It's very simple. Only thing is, they are reducing a whole bunch of people to stereotypes. For example:
- All porn producers are sleazy.
- Everybody in porn is always high.
- Everybody in porn is full of diseases.
- Everybody in porn has sex with everybody off camera.
- Everybody in porn in porn is lazy and dumb.
Right. That was easy. But the problem with stereotypes is that even though all stereotypes have a kernel of truth, in any discussion about porn and porn stars we always bring our own baggage because we already have an idea of what porn is and that is something few people take into account:
With some notable exceptions, public discussions of pornography use, particularly male solitary use, tend to focus on the negatives. If you accept the notion that pornography impacts people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you should at least consider the possibility that your exposure to negative media (or personal) discussions about pornography may influence your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors concerning pornography use. If you hear day after day that pornography is harmful, you may come to believe that there’s a problem.
All of those generalizations Patrick talks about have more to do with what WE think about sex, porn and porn consumption than about the sex workers and porn stars themselves. We are biased. And I agree that porn is a slice of life. You are going to find in porn the same kind of people you find working at the Home Depot or Chase Bank or Macy's. Just with better bodies, less clothes and higher sex drives. And they have sex in front of cameras and get paid for it. Nothing more, nothing less.
XOXO
P.S. Now that you're here, feel free to donate to Patrick's cause, Rainbow Railroad:
Rainbow Railroad is a global not-for-profit organization that helps LGTBQI+ people facing persecution based on their sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics. Since their founding, they have helped over 3,100 LGBTQI+ individuals find safety through emergency relocation and other forms of assistance.
P.P.S.: Patrick does have the credentials to talk about porn because he WAS indeed in porn and worked for some of the big studios from 2003 until 2017. I did some google sleuthing research and actually found him. Because of course I did.
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"Everybody" or "everyone" are two ugly words because they lump people together based on the tiniest of criteria.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely.
DeleteBut that's what people do. They talk about 'all porn stars'. But definitely is not.
XOXO
Amusingly, this is a stereotypical list, points we heard over again and again. One of the things not pointed out is that many people in porn earn quite a bit of their money through escort services, in fact, for many that is their main source of income. Being a sex worker is not the same as working at Macy's.
ReplyDeleteOh, but you actually drive the raison d'étre of this point home, even the forest/trees issue is again present.
DeleteAnd it's so cute you think working for a corporation like Macy's with miserable wages, made to compete for bonuses and no Union is not whoring ourselves out.
XOXO
At least having sex with a cock up my ass pays a hell of a lot more and make work fun!!!!!! I think of myself as an Ethical Slut.
DeleteHahaha
DeleteSame! And there's no 'work' that is not 'work'. We all get paid...
And I would NOT want to work at Macy's customer service for all the money.
XOXO
HuntleyBiGuy:
ReplyDeleteThe only people who can legitimately be put in a box is the GQP/MAGATS. Every other group has good and bad, and the bad make the headlines. Which shows why the above group is ALWAYS in the headlines, I guess. As Patrick said, sex work IS work and whether you are in porn or other areas you’re providing a service.
XOXO 👨🏼❤️💋👨🏽
Funny how MAGAts are becoming more and more a stereotype.
DeleteAnd you are right, there's always the 'bad apples' from porn to corporate America. But yes, it's a service. A job, like any other, and it brings money.
XOXO
Big says,
ReplyDeleteWith the advent of cell phone cameras, anyone can do porn. I think someone I know said that somewhere; maybe in a blog post. Where I live the exotic dancers (strippers) live with that same list of stereotyping. The women, of course, btw, not the guys. But many of them are working their way through very expensive (as we all know) college degrees. He's spot on. XOXO
Oh, exotic dancers are also bedeviled by the same biases. Especially females. They are strippers and therefore 'not kosher'. Bullshit.
DeleteIt's not laziness. It's not that they don't know how to do anything else. It's that it's a job that allows them to do what they need to do.
XOXO
Hell I consider myself a amateur porn creator....yes....I have no problem with sharing and creating selfies, videos and naughties, to be seen here and there...or web camming....and I still have many other sides to my personality and interests.
ReplyDeleteI know, right?
DeleteThat's always my point: there's more to porn stars than the porn they make. Also, who are we to judge? It's your body if you wanna cam. And even though people can have an opinion, they better shut up. It's not their body.
XOXO
Have I mentioned I adore you?
DeleteSamesies, babes!
DeleteXOXO
i love porn and i think if i were to be reborn i would be a porn actor, GAY of course. I also like amateur porn. I love them! for me they are priests of sex. And the priests are not all the same!
ReplyDeleteI also love porn. And amateur porn is hot.
DeleteI don't see anything 'bad' in choosing to do or watch porn. It's a decision that some people make and it's just stigmatized because it has to do with sex and the exchange of money for sex.
XOXO
Have you noticed that emojis exist for all parts of the body, except those alluding to sex (cock, pussy, boobs, for example)? this is why sex is still a scandal!
DeleteOh, people will always make sex a scandal.
DeleteIt's the way they control other people.
XOXO
You know, I did a lot of research about the golden age of gay porn... and those individuals had a lot more going for them then just their genitals. Thing is, we didn't really learn about them - who they were - because of the stigma attached to gay porn. Now? They all share everything about themselves. Fans eat it up. Good for them.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely.
DeleteThese are people with lives, dreams and goals. And I think that porn stars (and sex workers) deserve recognition. Some of them are very fascinating people.
XOXO
I'm with Huntley. I put my Catholic straight neighbors in a box. You know, two kids in Catholic school so they don't come into contact with kids who have two Dads or Moms. I must say this,...I live in a town with 'star' porn actors and I do go gaga when I see one in the grocery; just as if it where James Dean or Matt Bomer.
ReplyDeleteOh, the people who try to shelter their kids from 'the world' are in for a rude awakening.
DeleteAnd I also fanboy when I meet or see a gay porn star in a public venue. I think they're awesome.
XOXO
Porn has definitely evolved over the last few decades. It still has a ways to go but at least it is now more part of the conversation than it ever was.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that the conversation is taking so long.
DeletePorn as an industry is more prevalent more than ever. Remember when people needed to go to a theater to watch it? And then people needed a Betamax? Now people have porn in their phones. And still, that conversation is not happening.
XOXO