I wish I knew...

When I was a young gayling, there were many things I wish I had known before I started having sex with other men. I started kind of early (I was thirteen) and I had to learn pretty fast to make the difference between sex and love, for example. And the difference between porn and real life sex.

If we go by porn, it's two orals and three positions plus a money shot. That's the formula, right? For the longest time I did not notice that in porn films. I do like the distribution, but I don't like that it's been nailed in our collective porn canon. Some people only like oral. Some people only like anal. Some people like neither and prefer frottage. And everything is valid.

I think there are things we have learned with porn that are useful: touching your dick is fun; lube is necessary and you can add spit to it; you can climax using your hand and it's ok; the use of toys if fun and even recommended; there's more than penetrative sex to sex; older men are sexual; you can laugh and talk to each other during and after sex; you can ejaculate inside, beside, over or under another man and it's ok. Oh, and if you think you're the only one with that fantasy, you're wrong.

Of course, there's the other side of the coin concerning gay porn that I wish I had known when I was a wee gayling: not all men have dicks over seven inches long (porn stars are porn stars BECAUSE they're hung); not all straight men are hot and not all of them are DTF; not everybody barebacks (even people on PrEP); sex between men is loud only sometimes and it is messy many of those times; a money shot is really not completely necessary (Hot? Yes. Mandatory? No.) also, men have body hair, manscaping is an option, not a rule. And you do NOT have to try every position in the book to have fun.

And those are just some of my peeves with porn. I'm sure you can come up with others, Constant Reader. Because I KNOW you have an opinion about this... 

XOXO