Alternatives

 

Oh, yes. The resolutions. Those that I never keep, basically because by February life has caught up with me and I have totally forgotten most things I was thinking about at the beginning of January. I also think most list of resolutions imply that there was something inherently wrong with my life during 2022 and I refuse to think that. It's not that my life is not hectic or that it is perfect, mind you. But so many things happen at work and at home that I usually lose track of the things I thought were important/needed change/wanted to do during the first days of the year. So my New Year List needs to be above all, practical.

So let's say you'll be my interlocutor, Constant Reader, for this one. And what am I thankful for? Many things: I have stayed healthy (knocks on wood) and even though I have had to work with groups of people I have not tested positive for COVID and that, my dear, is quite the feat at this point. I am also grateful for the people who love me (yes, there's a few, thank goodness!). They have been a great source of strength and happiness this past year (and always). Oh, I'm also grateful I have my basement garden apartment, which you by now know well because I've overshared stuff about my little pied à terre right here, in this thingy here. I love my little corner of the world and I'm lucky to have it. 

And I guess I have to say I am grateful for my job: it lets me do something that I'm very good at doing and receive money in exchange. Is it fun? Sometimes. Is it easy? I can make it easy, but they're paying me to do it for some reason, right? Is it rewarding? Many times. Not every day or every week, but yes, many times. 

So yeah, there's things I'm grateful for. And I better remember them.

Ohhh let's see: what would be the theme of last year? What about Assurance without Presumption? Because familiarity breeds contempt and I think that's the worst feeling. I think Assurance without Presumption would work just fine. And in a book about my life, 2022 would be called "The times and lives of Elsworth Polliwog" because Harry Potter. Take that as you wish.

I managed to go through all of 2022 without getting in trouble or losing my job. I did that because I avoided having to talk directly to my boss, natch. I know, that's not really hardship but when you could lose your job because you tell your boss exactly what you think of her, it becomes serious. I managed to only talk to my direct supervisor during the whole year without requesting an audience with The Duchess of Mean. I don't know if I have told you, but my boss is an evil, vicious, power hungry, mean queen bitch from hell. And I don't like her. 

So I managed to stay out of trouble with everybody at work and not once had to talk to her personally. She came in like a wrecking ball and was taking names but I managed to keep my ass in check and my mouth shut and out of her way. I plan on doing exactly the same this year. I don't enjoy talking to negative people. And that woman is a black hole of unpleasantness. The Supernova of all Debby Downers. Hell in Sensible Heels.

Oh shit. This should be easy, no? No grudges. Well, I do not want to carry grudges into 2023. And I guess I'm going to have to find a way to practice The Kindness of Strangers with the few people I cannot stand. Restrain is not my forte, as you can imagine, so it will take more than willpower, Adobo and Saran Wrap for me to keep it civil when interacting with assholes or people I despise. 

But I'll try it. Because if there's people I don't like it's my problem, not theirs. It's my reaction to them what muddles the waters, not their being fucking morons. So yeah. I think I will also write their names in a piece of paper and I'll burn that. Let's see how that goes.

@queersextherapy

Ohhh what would be my intentions? Not something lame like Grow from Love, right? What about I'll practice some Avoidance of the Stayback Kamikaze? I am going to have to be more in the moment and more aware of my triggers. And that, Constant Reader, IS the struggle.

And how about you? Do you do the whole 'New Year Resolutions' thing? Do you keep them? Or are we more similar than you thought? 

XOXO

P.S. I'm going to be out of reach for some more days, btw. I'll be off to see how Kanaka Maoli live and I won't be back until next week. Gotta make my short break count.